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 (nobody)...and 362 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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and what gives you confidence? I try to imagine sometimes why some people are more confident than others.. . it just perplexes me to no end. .. |
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you are born with that personality. i've come to my own conclusion that the more you know, the less confident you get; as you tend to evaluate things a little bit more deeply and in turn, rate and depict apart yourself more. Thus, causing less confidence. |
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excellent theory...but i dont have enough confidence to believe im knowledgable in such matters :( im horrible with confidence...it comes and goes rather rapidly...and it is NEVER with girls. |
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I am fairly sure based on things I've read and experienced that this is largely culturally in nature and less genetic in nature. With humans, any behavior that is rewarded tends to be repeated and any that is punished made less frequent. Certain individuals, while their brains developed in adolecence some time hit a point where they had to either make a move or not make a move to do some thing risky. If they were rewarded, they repeated it and adopted that behavior as part of their personality. |
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It can be based on pretty much anything. let me tell you a nice tip, which is to be applied in _any_ context: never depend on only one thing. If you want decent self confidence, don't let only one thing (your abilities in a certain field, association with a certain group of people) provide support in any region of your life. also, never underestimate people's ability to lie, avoid, and ignore. Supreme confidence is unhealthy since that indicates a lack of self-doubt hence self-criticism which is a method to notify yourself of areas of improvement. all needs to be taken in moderation. [/end] |
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i like that conclusion. |
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confidence takes courage at first, you try to be confident when your stomach is churning and if you keep at it it gets easier and becomes more of a natural state. |
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i really agree with elusive(and everyone else who agrees with him) on this one... being conscious of the fact that nothing is certain, everything is contrived, arbitrary, etc., etc. you know conclusions that we've kind of come to in the post-modern age... it makes it impossible for me to be confident most of the time... the only thing that can redeem me is when i tap into something more spiritual and collective... if a place gives off a comfortable vibe, and i'm willing to acknowledge it... then i don't mind expressing myself freely, and allowing my mistakes and flaws to serve as shining examples of my humanity (or something...) |
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Yes; Not giving a shit what others think about me or the ways in which I express myself gives me a high degree of confidence. Hence I say, accept yourself. Never let social "norms" or corporate media dictate your lifestyle. |
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6 days a week I'm teh most confident guy you'll ever meet, but one day a week I'm timid as all fuck, it's just a cycle I go through. |
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haha the more you know the less confident you are...bullshit. That is just an image that has came about because less confident people tend to spend more time readind and stuff because they only leave the house once in a while. Enhanced knowledge is not the cause of lack of confidence but one of the results. PS. I am a confident person in case anyone couldn't tell. I am also thick as pig shit, but I don't care. :P |
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the amount of confidence you have, has got more to do with the way you were raised than with the amount of knowledge. confident people are those who, under circumstances with which they have no experience/knowledge, arent afraid to do what they think (intuitively) is the right thing to do, even when they know they probably have the wrong ideas. that knowledge argument is for people who take socrates too seriously (the more you know, the more you'll be aware of the amount of things you dont know...that kind of reasoning is the reasoning used to please the inconfident) ;d |
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I love you. Will you be my "gay net boyfriend"? Every straight guy should have at least one. |
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awww man you silly hannibal you *exchanges cigars* |
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no... i'm pretty shy and worried about all this stuff, like what i am, what do people really think of me, what i should do, etc... i ask for advice for a lot of things too... when i'm puzzled, like i'm not sure whether i see an innuendo in what people say or not, i prefer to take it the naive way... i'm shy and often i don't dare inviting people, even people i know well, i fear it would bother/annoy/bore them more than anything... (as a result i don't go out with people often at all and barely have any social life) and see, even right now i'm talking to someone on msn and i hope i'm not being "sticky" (don't know if you say this in english)/annoying by talking to him so often... maybe it's better to be not enough self-confident than too much though... |
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no i don't. i mostly think i annoy people with my presence. i think quite little of my abilities as well. |
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it's also an ugly bit of self-pity, self-indulgence, and egotism. holy shit, my confidence must be low because of how fucking insanely brilliant I am |
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Yes. It lives in my thumb and it channels energy through it. |
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For all your nonsense posts, I tend to largely agree with you when you post "seriously". With regard to what gives you confidence. I suppose conviction... If you don't believe/know much about what you're talking about when public speaking, it's a lot harder than if you vehemently believe it. When dealing with other people, it's the knowledge (although belief comes into it too, to a lesser extent) that you're right. If someone is talking about a matter you're well informed about (and I'm not talking subjects with vast numbers of shades of grey, like ethics, philosophy or religion, but something more precise like maths, computing, physics, engineering) and the other person says something which you know to be wrong, even a timid person can usually bring themselves to "correct" the other person. Particularly if there is proof to hand. Part of the way I rationalise it is by asking myself what can they do to me? If the other person has no power over you, what is there to worry about? Risk comprises 3 parts: Threat agent (the hostile party), a vulnerability and an impact. If any of these are missing there's no risk. If you're physically stronger and legally in the right, there's little they can do to you. |
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It has lots to do with your upbringing I guess. |
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my problem is the infinite fear of being disliked, even if i was right or better. |
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I don't feel the need to be liked by the majority of people. So long as my friends and family like me and the rest of the world don't dislike me enough to drop a bomb on me I'm happy :) |
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i do :( i think it's important to be nice to people, and if someone dislikes me i instantly think it's due to me not being nice. i know it's stupid. |
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Certainly- I try to be nice to everyone. I almost never go out of my way to be unpleasent to someone (and when I do, as juvenile as it sounds, it's because they started it first). I just try not to let it bother me if people don't act the same way. |
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ok now seriously. Confidence depends on situation. For example, if it is 70C or below zero, I do not feel confident. It depends to what boundaries my confidence/lack of it extends. Shyness, self-trust, esteem etc. has nothing to do confidence (or with lack of it). It can be a factor that contributes to it. It is true that mind can create situation (imaginary or real) that makes us feel confident or not. It is something person should practice overcoming and it is something that is possible to overcome by free will. |
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what helped me with this fear is in the first please being aware of the fact that that fear is (to a certain extent) a part of everybody. and in the second place that people will like you if you give them the impression you (honestly) like them. in other words; you have to make people like you. |
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o wait nevermind you've already covered that part |
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if someone dislikes me i instantly think it's due to me not being nice. i know it's stupid. It is stronger than you I believe. Stupid? I don't know. Whether you are liked means a lot to you I guess. Know that you cannot always be liked. Think about someone who likes you or does not like you. How worth is their opinion and does it change anything for you? If it does not imply much, I suggest you ignore it. |
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no confidence for me... |
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no confidence for me... Really? What is the temperature? I know that last summer was terrible. |
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always the same... :( |
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I don't feel confident in such environment either. I know how you feel. |
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my confidence peaks somewhere around the 2nd-4th drink.. . after that I start getting subsequently less and less confident (: confidence is an issue for me NOT because I want people to like me (maybe specific people) but because I want people to see the real me.. . too often it feels like "being confident" is just me putting up some form of camoflage to cover who I am.. . and Im not one to play those sorts of games.. . however much the women may fall for it. .. |
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it depends. |
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I think this topic is really interesting. I think for me, its wery situation based, as, when im with friends, or total stranger (Male!) im actually quite confident, because i dont care about their praise (an example, singing, or playing music, or showing off some art i did or stuff like that) i think i might seem like a terribly arrogant person, and i wery seldomly think about how my friends react to what i say or do. But women on the other hand. This might be the biggest topic of my life! i only recently learned how to deal with them, and to do it, i had to really work against my own nature in a way. Im much more timid around women for some reason, but recently ive been trying to like "act" when im around women, to be a confident guy, instead of just being it when around males (the thing is, i care about women, not about male people really... i dont feel like i need them, because i know i have them you know!?!?) In the old days i used to have really hight unrealistic thoughts about women i liked, and it would always turn out ugly with a rejection when i finally said something shyly to them after wanting them for like 6 months. Now, i have the approach to always go straight ahead and talk to someone (women ofcourse) if i think they look nice (instead of waiting for ages), that way i dont have these high thougts about them, and now i can actually get women. I can be more relaxed around them. I reccomend it to all you shy guys. |
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it's differrent arround men and women. i want (some)women to want to fuck me, so being arround these parrticularr women alterrs my behaviourr. i'm no less confident arround them just slightly morre self-conscious about how i look and act... because how i look and act matterrs in that situation. big fucking deal, that's called rreal life. |
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in the same way that i'm morre self-conscious about what i say and how i come acrross in a job interrview, forr example. it matterrs that i don't swearr and say the wrrong thing. just like it matterrs that i don't look like a prrick arround a woman who i want to find me attrractive. |
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Yeah, i know what youre saying, but for me, women are almost like mythological. Women who are ugly, im wery confident around them. But if im in love with someone i turn into this idiot. I have an almost religious feeling about these women. |
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confidence for me is very tied in with understanding. if i feel like i can share a 'level' with someone then its generally promised that we will get along. sexual confidence is a different thing again. im no longer a subscriber to the idea that intoxication heightens that .. coherency is much more attractive ;) |
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Yes, I'm very confident. I know that I'm on a higher level than most of the people I come in contact with. I find comfort in the fact that my intelligence and ability for greater understanding is rarely matched, let alone topped. Most people would call this being cocky, but it's not. I don't need to be cocky, because I already know where my place is. And when it comes to attracting females, there's nothing sexier to a woman than a man with confidence. But if you have the confidence plus good looks, it's almost too easy. And that's the truth. Just like on Friday night, I was at the bar and in no time I had attracted a hot female. The only problem was she was with her douce bag boyfriend. I of course didn't care, but logically she didn't want him to see anything going on. But I still managed to set things up so we could hook up later this week. There's nothing better than seducing women who already have a boyfriend. It provides more of a challenge, and reminds you again of where your place is at. But also while I was in the process of attracting her, another girl who was impressed with what I had done, came on to me as well. Then it's all down hill from there. Once other girls see your methods working on another girl, you won't be able to beat them off with a stick. Anyways, I ended going to an after party with the one chick and her boyfriend. Knowing that we couldn't get together, on the count she didn't want her boyfriend to suspect anything, I just gave her my number and we set up a date for later this week. After that, I just went and hooked up with the other chick, and you can figure out the rest of the story. It's always best to have a back up plan in situations like this. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, my confidence comes from the fact that I know I have the knowledge and skills to get what I want and I know how to use them to achieve my goals. Being confident gives you leverage, and leverage is everything. |
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I have no confidence, I never go out, basiclly always stay at home, if i dont have to leave the house, I dont talk much with my co workers either, nor do I have any firends.....im scared of lots of things...... |
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Hate confident people who really have nothing to be confident about... |
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ehehe.. . thus my reasons become clearer (; nah but seriously. .. |
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all confidence has an element of lying. No one is or can be completely flawless with anything--there is a constant struggle between suspending disbelief and being self critical |
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