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 (nobody)...and 159 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2613408 Today 0 Topics 127499 |
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hevquip from 45.697 bits of electricity on 2001-11-29 21:51 [#00056909] | |||||||||
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i have a ferrari countache inline v8 triturbo. it is a rare edition imported from romania, with the heating block and air conditioning hand built and brought in from brazil. boost is variable from 45 to 79 psi, depending on barometric pressure and the arousal level of your mother. displacement is typically 62 pints it has around 34893.347 horsepower, and for the irish in the country side, that's about 171579.00008 sheeppower. torque is around 56^10*39.407 megatons per joule. due to this fact, during accelaration, the car does not move, but the earth moves beneath me. it's speed makes it hard to catch up to me as sometimes i have left before i had a chance to go. i have tires of around 13-15 inches wide made of grade three rubber and depleted plutonium. tire size depends on the temperature of a minks ass. the front wheels have been taken off a bmx bike to cut down of weight and add aerodynamic abilities. newton watts are around a healthy 457.397 kilowatts. currently my car powers 23 small russian cities and a czechov sewage facility. topspeed is around 357073 clicks per parsec minus 34% an equilateral triangles side. standing still, the car is still very fast, light bending around it, often making it hard for me to find it. for a car protection system, i purchased godzilla from tokyo. the turboes are powered from 3 seperate nuclear cores with a critical mass of 45.3 neutrinos and are hooked up to 45% inlet expansion opening headers. the headers are coated in ky jelly to increase airflow. the car is powered by 112 % weapons grade nitro glycerin and averages the distance an elephant will cover when it's ass is on fire for miles per pint. because my car is capable of such fast speeds, it can defy gravity. a spoiler made of lead has been attached 2/3's near the back. it is made of lead so that it may deflect radiation in the air. a complex system of vacuums has been rigged to the bottom to make sure the car does not go airborn. the last time i did times for my machine, i went too fast, going back in time and accidently running over shakespeare. the second time, my stop watch had broken. with a makeshift sundial and string, we measured what is roughly the distance of 583 panthers to be covered in around 4576.435 meters per heartbeat of a wasp. my car has no exhaust as it is 173% efficient, producing it's own fuel, along with oxygen and gold as byproducts. my current mods are a hoover vacuum attached to the intake, blowing out air instead of suctioning, 2 afterburners stolen from a russian MIG, both aimed upwards at angle of 23 degrees to increase traction, a nitrous system for me to inhale so i can relax and not shit my pants when i find myself passing lightbeams. currently, these are my wins and losses: wins: a stop sign, a chinese nuclear submarine, a shoe thrown by tom cruise, a vacation cruise ship, a child on a slip and slide, lance armstrong while doing the tour de france, light beams, both Superman and The Flash, a catburlar stealing family jewels from England. losses: a gay man running from a prison yard, a prom date i tried to take advantage of. however, the drugs i had slipped the prom date took effect before the quarter mile was over. she beat me to 60 miles per hour though. i almost lost to ghandi too, but i ran him over. that is my car. if you dont believe me, it's because you are just mad because your car is slow. you cannot email me as i believe you will try to find out where i live and steal my car. i have grown very sick due to the fact that i have pneumonia. if you are willing to buy me new lungs, perhaps i will take you for a ride in my car. |
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Ophecks from Nova Scotia on 2001-11-29 21:53 [#00056911] | |||||||||
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Will you just go and die? |
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