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who wants a free cd?
 

hevquip from 45.697 bits of electricity on 2001-11-29 21:50 [#00056908]



i have a ferrari countache inline v8 triturbo. it is a rare
edition imported from romania, with the heating block and
air conditioning hand built and brought in from brazil.
boost is variable from 45 to 79 psi, depending on barometric
pressure and the arousal level of your mother. displacement
is typically 62 pints it has around 34893.347 horsepower,
and for the irish in the country side, that's about
171579.00008 sheeppower. torque is around 56^10*39.407
megatons per joule. due to this fact, during accelaration,
the car does not move, but the earth moves beneath me. it's
speed makes it hard to catch up to me as sometimes i have
left before i had a chance to go. i have tires of around
13-15 inches wide made of grade three rubber and depleted
plutonium. tire size depends on the temperature of a minks
ass. the front wheels have been taken off a bmx bike to cut
down of weight and add aerodynamic abilities. newton watts
are around a healthy 457.397 kilowatts. currently my car
powers 23 small russian cities and a czechov sewage
facility. topspeed is around 357073 clicks per parsec minus
34% an equilateral triangles side. standing still, the car
is still very fast, light bending around it, often making it
hard for me to find it. for a car protection system, i
purchased godzilla from tokyo. the turboes are powered from
3 seperate nuclear cores with a critical mass of 45.3
neutrinos and are hooked up to 45% inlet expansion opening
headers. the headers are coated in ky jelly to increase
airflow. the car is powered by 112 % weapons grade nitro
glycerin and averages the distance an elephant will cover
when it's ass is on fire for miles per pint. because my car
is capable of such fast speeds, it can defy gravity. a
spoiler made of lead has been attached 2/3's near the back.
it is made of lead so that it may deflect radiation in the
air. a complex system of vacuums has been rigged to the
bottom to make sure the car does not go airborn. the last
time i did times for my machine, i went too fast, going back
in time and accidently running over shakespeare. the second
time, my stop watch had broken. with a makeshift sundial and
string, we measured what is roughly the distance of 583
panthers to be covered in around 4576.435 meters per
heartbeat of a wasp. my car has no exhaust as it is 173%
efficient, producing it's own fuel, along with oxygen and
gold as byproducts. my current mods are a hoover vacuum
attached to the intake, blowing out air instead of
suctioning, 2 afterburners stolen from a russian MIG, both
aimed upwards at angle of 23 degrees to increase traction, a
nitrous system for me to inhale so i can relax and not shit
my pants when i find myself passing lightbeams. currently,
these are my wins and losses:

wins: a stop sign, a chinese nuclear submarine, a shoe
thrown by tom cruise, a vacation cruise ship, a child on a
slip and slide, lance armstrong while doing the tour de
france, light beams, both Superman and The Flash, a
catburglar stealing family jewels from England.

losses: a gay man running from a prison yard, a prom date i
tried to take advantage of. however, the drugs i had slipped
the prom date took effect before the quarter mile was over.
she beat me to 60 miles per hour though. i almost lost to
ghandi too, but i ran him over.

that is my car. if you dont believe me, it's because you are
just mad because your car is slow. you cannot email me as i
believe you will try to find out where i live and steal my
car. i have grown very sick due to the fact that i have
pneumonia. if you are willing to buy me new lungs, perhaps i
will take you for a ride in my car.


 

Ophecks from Nova Scotia on 2001-11-29 21:52 [#00056910]



Here's some lungs. Gimme gimme gimme a ride in your Red Hot
Car.


 

crayon_kid from the inner reaches of your soul... on 2001-11-29 21:59 [#00056915]



"you scream out for mo-ore
let me tell ya girl thats fo' shu-ure
im gonna give you what i go-ot
im gonna fuck you with my red hot co-ock"


 

Pusher of the Square from mars on 2001-11-29 23:55 [#00056929]



well I'll be .............


 

pushing->[]'s on 2001-11-30 00:52 [#00056937]



Fuck you pretend to be me.


 

Naphex-Male from Vancouver, Canada on 2001-11-30 01:12 [#00056948]



This is great.
Just great.
Great.


 

1010-1111-10 from St.JOnn\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Newfoundland, Canada on 2001-11-30 07:27 [#00056994]



i believe if you dont mind i would like to cut and paste the
hell out of something to try and get a visual on that
vechical!


 

SquareDealer from oxo soup on 2001-11-30 11:57 [#00057041]



well well


 

2nd hand acid deelie guy on 2001-11-30 13:22 [#00057058]



Hmmmm.


 


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