 |
|
You are not logged in! F.A.Q Log in Register |
 |
|
 |
 Now online (2)big recycle ...and 654 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
 |
Members 8025Messages 2614121 Today 4 Topics 127542 |
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
inspired by the Che Guevara's dead poem, earlier, I went to work putting some of my old material into the web..... anywho here it is..... pls check it out, and tell me what you think go to : http://www.poetry.com/Publications/search.asp and search for Brett Kultgen |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Sure ! |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I read the entire post. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
no one.... hey thanks guys |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
i'll give the once over. don't get to emotional, if no one gets on to this, it happens to me all the time. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
not enotional, but thanks for the time :) I don't give a fuck what they say... I'm twice published LOL |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
woo hoo , published in what? |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
compilation books.... poems of love... and words of the soul.... cheesy ass names if ya ask me.... what ya think, tho ? |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
read em', you seem to be very passionate with your work and I appreciate it. i am sure you don't need it, but you've got my entire support. as for contnet and style, your work is a far cry from what i am into, so i'll be as objecive as possible. if you'd like... |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
here you go... |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
awesome, thanks for your opinion :) |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
here's my poem: ethan hunt was a cunt blanka was a wanker triple x got 5 year olds to give him sex mario and luigi kidnap kids and take them to fiji sonic was a chronic sex addict you cannot stop the wheel |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
althought your work is strong when it comes to the clairity and cohesive elements which are derivitive of the classic prose form, i find that this leads me to expect certain lines and stylistic passages. i.e. i think i can guess what your next line is. this is not a bad thing in it of itself for certain works, but it can easiliy become a reliant element in ones work, if they don't see this point it can lead to unintresting work. you don't however have to accept this theory, and it is possible to use a formula for the sake of creating art/poetry that works in a universal way. another thing, that needs to be addressed is the fact that you are too precise, for example You, in this work you make very clearly how you feel about a certain person (or object) this is fine, however i find that if you one is going to write in a repetitive stanza (?) you have to make the reader want to go on to the next line or else, like myself, they will go on to the next work. the first line in this poem, is mearly repeated thriteen times, with different words to explain that the person/thing you are writting about means everything, and that you would not be able to exist mentally or physically. You could just say, "you are everything" and end it right there, but that would be very boring and quite unoriginal. instead, explain why that person is everything would make You much more readable for the sake of progression. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
cheese "cheese please" "no" "...bastard" [fin] |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
"vegetables with cheese if you please" glass-eater 9 25 2003 |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
well said. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
ouch ::shrugs:: |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
it's a shame i haven't got my website up and running anymore, (failed to pay) i had some of my unpublished work on there, i would have liked to have put some of your work on there too... |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
always writing more and more.... just put my personal favs on this page, but I have about 3 notebooks worth when I used to write music with lyrics (we all went through THAT phase, didn't we ? LOL) |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Those are some nice poems.. I like the bum one the most, I think. Good work... |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
thanks, hun :) |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I'm not so keep on them Aphexisatwin. They arre too forrmulaic forr my taste. Like ifkardo said 'i think i can guess what your next line is'. But that is just my perrsonal taste. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
totally cool :) thanks for the opinion :) maybe next time I release some of my..... more artistic freestyle works.... I like not rhyming, too :) |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
can you post a full poem here rather than doing a link? |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I'd be glad to rread them, i rrespect anyone forr just putting them up forr people to rread. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
sure I'll post one right now.... off the top of my head God I need to sleep I've been up way too damn long my eyes are sinking further into my skull the increasing pressure of my eyelids weighing.... tearing down my will but I can't sleep I've been up for way too damn long ::shrugs:: maybe I write some more on here when I'm not so god damn tired LOL been up for 32 hours, now |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I'm not sure did i read the right writings but good it is, sure, allright. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
well i'd say if there is anything to complain about it's not that the writing is predictable,but that the words mostly seem written for someone very special and should probably not be shared with a bunch of shit-eating critics |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
mezher, i agree and i think after rereading some of his work, especially You i don't anyone other than that person, can be intersted, in that it seems to be specificy addressed. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
:) *i just ate coco puffs, kinda shit-looking* ;) |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
i like what youve done, heartfelt things arent mentioned like that often.. the last two lines of 'thanks' caused a nice joke :) |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
read my shit please Would that be 'asstrology'? |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
or fecology |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
you need to be a stool guru for that |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
can't find anything - when I fill in your name and get the poems, I click on one and WHOOP! I'm back at the frontpage. that poem you just wrote is pretty bad - no interesting use of language or interesting visuals. (but you were probably joking with that one) |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
:shakes head: no. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
|
Messageboard index
|
|||||||||
