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I am not dead
 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-11 14:09 [#00774678]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker



marlowe, hi.


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-11 14:10 [#00774679]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker



oops


 

offline marlowe from Antarctica on 2003-07-11 14:17 [#00774696]
Points: 24578 Status: Lurker



sorry thad - hi back - I read over some of your posts; they
were pretty touching - thanks. I'm going to send you a CDr
pretty soon.

hi AP, how are you? I hope you're doing good these days.


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-11 14:20 [#00774704]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker



not too bad, i still ain't got the hang of this MB


 

offline epohs from )C: on 2003-07-11 14:28 [#00774724]
Points: 17620 Status: Lurker



just hang out with your wang out...

rock out with your cock out!


 

offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2003-07-11 14:30 [#00774729]
Points: 39976 Status: Regular | Followup to marlowe: #00774696



sweet !!
hey its 330 pm im off work, not gonna be here probably this
weekend, but ill see ya on monday, if not then at a later
point

i knew all along you were fucking with us :0)


 

offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2003-07-11 14:32 [#00774730]
Points: 39976 Status: Regular



marlowe/paul

where are you live anyways?
and dont tell me south central antarctica and expect to
believe you ?

i live in roca,nebraska, but you already knew that and have
my street address


 

offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2003-07-11 14:38 [#00774736]
Points: 39976 Status: Regular



(just read the whole thing)

marlowe---dont you ever ever ever commit suicide, you can
talk to me anytime, if you need ill give you my phone
number, you call me and ill call you back to save you the
money

you mean so much to a lot of us !!
you forever friend
thad


 

offline marlowe from Antarctica on 2003-07-11 14:49 [#00774764]
Points: 24578 Status: Lurker | Followup to recycle: #00774736



as it says on my zebox site, I live in Aberdeen, Scotland -
it's on the north-east coast, about 120 miles north of
Edinburgh.

I appreciate your offer of a phone-call thad, but I hate
talking on telephone - I don't even own one myself - mobile
or home...

I forgot but I made an acid techno track for you - for an ep
I named 'the thad smoyer ep' - only one track is done tho -
did it quite a while ago now - May, I think - but I'll stick
it on the CDr for you, and hopefully do three or four more
acid techno tracks for you.


 

offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2003-07-11 14:54 [#00774771]
Points: 39976 Status: Regular | Followup to marlowe: #00774764



first off...

i would never go to your zeebox site, cause your music
sucks.......hehehe

no, no no, thats rad that there is an ep named after me !!!

i hate talking on the phone my self (hell no i dont own a
cellphone) but if its to get a chance to talk to you, and
then help your life, you bet i would

you are the best marlowe.

p.s. is your real name paul savage?
(please give me the real answer here or in the package)


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-11 14:55 [#00774772]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker | Followup to recycle: #00774771



you bitch

(joke, you know it)


 

offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2003-07-11 14:58 [#00774778]
Points: 39976 Status: Regular | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00774772



i know anus :0)

errrrrrrrrrr wait, not like that, please no one read to into
that


 

offline marlowe from Antarctica on 2003-07-11 15:07 [#00774787]
Points: 24578 Status: Lurker



hehe -- yes, my name is paul f savage - the f is for
francis. I was born paul francis lamb, but after my dad left
and my mum remarried when I was six, my name got changed to
savage. I've always found it highly amusing that I went from
Lamb to Savage. Kind of symbolic, since from that time on,
my life went downhill.


 

offline BlatantEcho from All over (United States) on 2003-07-11 15:11 [#00774793]
Points: 7210 Status: Lurker



this thread went to shit in the middle, but panned out ok I
guess.

job a boj was correct though, I wanted to drive off a cliff
a number of times instead of facing pain, but the right call
is getting through it, no matter bad.

even if you don't post often Paul, it will always be nice
to hear from you.

regards


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-11 15:17 [#00774796]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker



being dead is not such a big deal.
why is it betterr 'getting thrrough' it. i wish i had the
guts orr sheerr motivation just to end it. even when i'm
prretty happy i don't think being dead is such a bad thing.

it would rruin my family if i died, so i won't do it. but
i'm not happy, therre is nothing to 'get thrrough'


 

offline Smyrma from Beloit, WI (United States) on 2003-07-11 15:35 [#00774805]
Points: 2478 Status: Lurker



Welcome back Paul, hope all is well


 

offline marlowe from Antarctica on 2003-07-11 15:46 [#00774817]
Points: 24578 Status: Lurker | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00774796



yeah man, I know what you mean - sometimes this emptiness
just enters a person's life - just emptiness - it's not an
emotional thing - it's just a deep sense of pointlessness -
but thank god it passes and I find new things to excite me,
like a child.

Some people were born to be children, some were born to be
adults. I was born to be a child.


 

offline Jedi Chris on 2003-07-11 15:47 [#00774818]
Points: 11496 Status: Lurker | Followup to marlowe: #00774817



Hello Paul....happy to see you again!


 

offline titsworth from Washington, DC (United States) on 2003-07-11 16:04 [#00774831]
Points: 14550 Status: Lurker | Followup to marlowe: #00774507



nice to see you.. be careful with cryptic goodbyes though


 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2003-07-11 16:16 [#00774841]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to marlowe: #00774817



oh god I recognize that..

everything suddenly becomes finite. anything you do is
finite. no longer are there any prospects, there is no
future. it kind of just *plops* out of existance. no
specific reason - all reasons mean nothing anymore. things
just kind of halt inside your head - a head full of
inertia.

I'm having one of these patches now. I mostly seem to have
them round the summer. I guess I'll get through, as usual.
:)


 

offline mylittlesister from ...wherever (United Kingdom) on 2003-07-11 16:16 [#00774844]
Points: 8472 Status: Regular



coor, one big-fat attention seeker! i agree with pomme and
zeus, never seen such a blatent attempt! :P

[I've listened to ur 4 tracks, paul... all very good!! cant
get messages thru on msn at the moment :-/]


 

offline Morton from out (Netherlands, The) on 2003-07-11 16:17 [#00774845]
Points: 10000 Status: Addict



i'm glad you are not dead.
still i agree with pomme.

you know you left here leaving the strong impression you
were going to kill yourself (don't say you weren't aware of
that) . and now, after your explanation (from which i don't
say it isn't honest and true btw) you talk about zebox and
new tracks again already.

don't say you aren't back, you are.
welcome back.


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-11 16:20 [#00774846]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker



ahhh we arre all dead anyway.


 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2003-07-11 16:25 [#00774851]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00774846



very NIN-ish.


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-11 16:27 [#00774855]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker | Followup to qrter: #00774851



is that bad? orr good?


 

offline Morton from out (Netherlands, The) on 2003-07-11 16:32 [#00774862]
Points: 10000 Status: Addict | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00774855



that's baaaaaddd, which actually means it's good
or something


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-11 16:33 [#00774864]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker | Followup to Morton: #00774862



o rrite.

o well.


 

offline fleetmouse from Horny for Truth on 2003-07-11 16:48 [#00774896]
Points: 18042 Status: Lurker



PAUL AINT DEAD

awright


 

offline qrter from the future, and it works (Netherlands, The) on 2003-07-11 16:50 [#00774903]
Points: 47414 Status: Moderator | Followup to fleetmouse: #00774896



it's spelled AINTEN'T.

AINTEN'T


 

offline marlowe from Antarctica on 2003-07-11 18:10 [#00775023]
Points: 24578 Status: Lurker | Followup to Morton: #00774845



no - when I left I was suicidal, so of course I was aware of
the implications of the message, which I feel bad about now
- but now I'm not suicidal, so I'm not in the same mind-set,
hence I am alienated from how I was feeling then - I haven't
been suicidal now for a couple of weeks, and I'm not going
to pretend to be really down when I'm not: life goes on as
usual - I didn't come back here to spam none - If I
remember, I was answering questions about my music - it
would have been affectatious of me to speak not about it.

anyway, thanks for the welcome back, Morton; I don't know if
I'm back or not - I only initially came back to set the
record straight, which I should have done a couple of weeks
ago.


 

offline evolume from seattle (United States) on 2003-07-11 18:15 [#00775034]
Points: 10965 Status: Regular



yo!
it's good you're not dead. i'm sure there are a lot of
things you would have missed out on. think of all the good
shows and albums you would have missed a chance to
experience.


 

offline weatheredstoner from same shit babes. (United States) on 2003-07-11 19:03 [#00775067]
Points: 12585 Status: Lurker



"I am not dead"

yay!


 

offline corngrower from the fertile grounds of Iowa, w (United States) on 2003-07-11 19:07 [#00775075]
Points: 4404 Status: Lurker



I am also glad to here that marlowe is not yet dead.


 

offline Oddioblender from Fort Worth, TX (United States) on 2003-07-11 19:46 [#00775122]
Points: 9601 Status: Lurker



good to see you, marlowe.


 

offline Oddioblender from Fort Worth, TX (United States) on 2003-07-11 19:47 [#00775124]
Points: 9601 Status: Lurker



fave marlowe quote:

"if you're charismatic, you can make music AND have sex!"

oh so true sir! :-)


 

offline Q4Z2X on 2003-07-11 22:05 [#00775192]
Points: 5264 Status: Lurker



it's nice to see that you are okay, paul.
welcome back, (if you feel like staying.)
it's also nice to see that you've got some new music up,
i'll have to download it tonight..
i was really listening to some of your tracks during the
time that you were gone, and they seemed even more eerie
than usual. your tracks have always seemed to have that
quality to me, i find it to be part of your unique voice.
regardless of if you stay here or not, just continue making
your music and poetry-that is a very important reason for
you to stay on this earth. no matter what you think about it
and what's going on in the world, as long as you separate
yourself from what you detest about it and continue pursuing
your fate while using your very crucial gifts. not many are
able to create something as unique and brilliant as some of
your creations, it is a gift and i hope you always remember
that you have it.

i can see how some people here may be upset after all the
supposed "clues" hinting at his alleged suicide, whether
they were put there deliberately for or not for any reason
is irrelevant now, we should all be happy that a precious
human life that was at stake was not lost, and not just hold
a grudge against paul for going through bad times. it makes
no sense to be upset at him for saying that he might
possibly pull the trigger, and then later having the decency
to come back and let us know that he did not going through
with it.


 

offline marlowe from Antarctica on 2003-07-12 04:49 [#00775335]
Points: 24578 Status: Lurker | Followup to Q4Z2X: #00775192



Q, that really was a wonderful post--thank you very much for
those words of encouragement--I love making music, and I
love channelling music, but sometimes I feel that it's an
irrelevancy, and I should be out in the battlefield fighting
- and I'm always saying "when I get to America..." and it's
disappointing to not to do anything. But I just have to have
some faith in myself (something I've always been lacking),
faith that I will help this world somehow.

thanks again hombre.


 

offline eXXailon from purgatory on 2003-07-12 04:55 [#00775340]
Points: 6745 Status: Lurker



Hello, Paul. Nice to see you're still among the living (I
expected no less from you :) )

I hope you will continue your stay here, both on xlt and on
this planet.


 

offline pOgO from behind your belly button fluff on 2003-07-12 05:03 [#00775342]
Points: 12687 Status: Lurker



The Godfather has returned

*bows in respect*

btw, I think you should make a track called Fabulously
Fantastic Fucking Frequencies.

I would but I'm no bach


 

offline Morton from out (Netherlands, The) on 2003-07-12 05:37 [#00775358]
Points: 10000 Status: Addict | Followup to marlowe: #00775023



it's good to hear you're doing better now.
and you should stay


 

offline alnuit on 2003-07-12 07:38 [#00775427]
Points: 1113 Status: Lurker | Followup to marlowe: #00774507



Of course, you are not dead!

Hi!


 

offline Ophecks from Nova Scotia (Canada) on 2003-07-12 11:11 [#00775594]
Points: 19190 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag



You're alive! You're still with us!

*humps your leg

Try not to kill yourself, that's just so lame.


 

offline marlowe from Antarctica on 2003-07-12 11:34 [#00775615]
Points: 24578 Status: Lurker | Followup to Ophecks: #00775594



hi jay - i've missed your charming humour :)


 

offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2003-07-12 11:39 [#00775628]
Points: 39976 Status: Regular | Followup to marlowe: #00774787



i love paul f savage !!


 

offline twigclanx from twatsville on 2014-04-06 08:44 [#02469627]
Points: 64 Status: Addict



i love DUBturbo


 


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