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 Now online (1)recycle ...and 237 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614155 Today 0 Topics 127544 |
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Bernard Manning: No longer in favour due to the fact that he's a lard-arsed hatemonger, he was last seen on the Mrs. Merton show where he lambasted Richard Wilson and generally showed himself up as a deeply insecure and desperately unlikeable shitbag. :D |
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Peter Stringfellow Smugness: 9 Primadonna: 4 Undue Adulation: 6 Offensive Opinions: 8 Hypocrisy: 2 Apalling Acts: 5 Overall Score: 34 Celebrity Cunt Rating: A Complete Cunt Notes: Few people, if any, would question the impeccable cuntt credentials of self-proclaimed King of Clubs, Peter Stringfellow. His tawdry lap-dancing nitespot is regularly patronised by affectedly laddish celebrity cunts (yes, Evans, we're looking at you), which only serves to massage the peroxide cunt's gargantuan ego. Still sporting a balding, streaked mullet without a hint of irony, Stringfellow has shown unflinching faith in a ridiculous haircut which is older than most of the pubescent girls he dates. As if his embarrassing barnet and Glitteresque tendencies weren't cunty enough, the perverted little cunt worships Baroness Thatcher with patriotic fervour. This sickening excuse for a human being is a pathetic example of a mid-life crisis out of control. So, although the dancing girls in his club probably don't strip below the waist, Stringfellow's presence will always ensure there's a cunt on show. - SJ Keywords: mullet / age gap / mane / nightclub / ego |
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Sting Smugness: 9 Primadonna: 4 Undue Adulation: 9 Offensive Opinions: 4 Hypocrisy: 7 Apalling Acts: 5 Overall Score: 38 Celebrity Cunt Rating: A Complete Cunt Notes: Bass-slapping cunt Sting - a self-proclaimed devotee of tantric sex - once boasted of his ability to sustain an erection for over five hours without the assistance of performance enhancing drugs. Sadly, this has not proved long enough to keep him out of the recording studio, where he continues to churn out cod-jazz ramblings which are bland enough to turn the most Viagra-fuelled stiffy as limp and uninspired as a Police album. This pretentious, self righteous cunt regularly educates the unwashed from his elevated position in celebrity society, passing on his infinite wisdom with statements like "an area the size of Wales is lost from the Brazilian rainforests every year" while his unstoppable ego swells by roughly the same amount. Whenever you hear such bluster, remember that Sting's eco-friendly outpourings are just hypocritical nonsense. Increasing fuel emissions suddenly became less of a concern when Jaguar's bigwigs came knocking on the door of his Jacobean castle with a big pile of cash. Sting was happy to accept such handsome rewards in return for promoting their gas guzzling executive cars on TV ads. Perhaps his most absurd moment was dragging a bewildered Amazon tribesman on a booze-addled tour of London's most fashionable clubs. Plastered across every paper (which I'm sure was the publicity seeking cunt's intended result), this ridiculous idea was a classic example of a mindless media whore attempting to impress his environmental and cultural awareness whilst actually achieving the exact opposite. "I've had enough misery and sadness in my life to last the rest of my life," he once whined, "and I've got enough to process in songs for the rest of my life." It's enough to make you crave the sanctuary of a remote and blissfully untainted civilisation. Anyone fancy a one-way trip to the Amazon jungle? |
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lmao what a cunt! |
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Jim Davidson Smugness: 6 Primadonna: 4 Undue Adulation: 7 Offensive Opinions: 9 Hypocrisy: 1 Apalling Acts: 7 Overall Score: 34 Celebrity Cunt Rating: A Complete Cunt Notes: What is it about old-school comedians that makes so many of them complete cunts? Perhaps it's because they're used to getting a laugh from racial slurs, like Bernard Manning, and, less obviously, this cunt, two-fisted cockney TV twat Jim "Nick Nick" Davidson. Jim made the cunning move of not being as overtly vocal as Manning about the fact that he's a racist, but he's been known to use such humour. Currently employed as a presenter for "Big Break", "The Generation Game" and an ad for a loan firm that specialises in giving loans to the credit-check-challenged. Jim has also been known to threaten member of the public with violence at very little notice, and there have been several rumours about his shady past. However, because he's an established "family" entertainer and jovial cockney rough diamond, Jim gets to shrug them off with a grin and a gag. Tory fundraising cunt. Keywords: conservative / temper / club in Great Yarmouth / bigot / racist |
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there are so many total cunts in this game. its like watching arsenal. |
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The Celebrity Cunt Database Robbie Williams Smugness: 9 Primadonna: 6 Undue Adulation: 9 Offensive Opinions: 1 Hypocrisy: 2 Apalling Acts: 4 Overall Score: 31 Celebrity Cunt Rating: A Complete Cunt Notes: It has been said that Robbie Williams is the "funny one" from the early nineties homoerotic cuntathon that was Take That. Funny? Funny how? You think he's here to amuse you? No, actually I don't. I think he's here to make our lives a fucking misery with his inane, childlike music, his oh so wacky antics and his annoying-to-the-point-of-throwing-your-TV-out-of-the-window face. Let's get one thing straight. The first comment that critics of Robbie williams get is that They're jealous. Well, let me put it officially on the record. I AM NOT JEALOUS OF HIM. If I were jealous of that performing monkey, I would simply kill myself. In public. In fact, while we're on the subject, I'd have live TV coverage available on all terrestrial channels, presented by Gary Lineker with live commentary from John Motson and Trevor Brooking. Highlights would be shown later that night for those who spent the entire day trying to avoid the result, only to turn on the TV to catch the last bit of the news saying "I took his remains away in a freezer bag to feed to the lions at London Zoo." Anyway, I digress just a little. Why do I hate him so much? What makes Robbie Williams a Celebrity Cunt? Simple. Williams is the most talentless fuckwit ever to grace the face of this planet. In an ideal world, people of his ilk would be put on an island without food and left to crack each other's skulls and feed on the goo within. However, in this world, he is rewarded with fabulous riches, a trail of gorgeous women as long as the M62 and enough fame and publicity to fill the Mariana Trench 100 times over. He doesn't deserve this; he deserves to be beaten to a bloody pulp by the Ben Sherman clad idiots who can be seen belting out his "hits" at the tops of their voices in any popular music pub in the |
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(cuntinued) ...popular music pub in the land. His music lies somewhere in between Chas N Dave featuring the Matchroom Mob (at least that had comedy value) and the bloke who used to live with the guy who once kissed the girl who came 9th in "Fame Academy". Despite clearly being one of the biggest cunts to walk the earth, there is no concept of modesty or humility within the empty space that passes for Williams' brain. Every picture has that same, smug grin that says, "I'm better than you"; his self-publicity knows no bounds. You can't open a magazine without reading about "Robbie's Drugs Hell" or "Robbie is heartbroken" or "Robbie falls off the wagon". Personally, I'd be happy to read that last headline, but only if the sub-header was "and lands right underneath a 15 ton truck, which pops his head like a laser beam bursting a bubble". This man is, in my humble opinion, a king cunt. M'Lud, I rest my case. - SM Keywords: boy band / angels / kareoke / snide Bond / serial shagger / only takes a minute, girl |
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This is the best way to waste my last hour at work on a friday afternoon :D |
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same here, we're all pissing ourselves! |
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More! I can't view that site, it doesn't like my cookies. |
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Craig David Smugness: 7 Primadonna: 4 Undue Adulation: 8 Offensive Opinions: 0 Hypocrisy: 2 Apalling Acts: 1 Overall Score: 22 Celebrity Cunt Rating: A Right Cunt Notes: Monday - cunt Tuesday - cunt Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday - cunt Sunday - chillin' cunt Keywords: uk garage / tidy beard / laydeez man / vocal gymnastics |
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The computer was on a winning streak against me just then, but then I luckily got the excellent "Jeffry Archer" card: Jeffrey Archer Rating: An Utter, Utter Cunt Smugness: 10 Primadonna: 6 Undue Adulation: 5 Offensive Opinions: 8 Hypocrisy: 9 Apalling Acts: 8 Overall: 46 |
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10-19: A Bit of a Cunt This individual is a cunt, but only a minor one. A B-list cunt. Not really relevant enough to make a serious impact as a celebrity cunt. If they only rate this high, then they're not really cutting it, even as a cunt. 20-29: A Right Cunt This individual is irritating on sight. The very sound of their name being announed make ire and bile rise in equal, copious measure. Every serious celebrity cunt scores at least this high on the scale. 30-39: A Complete Cunt This is the score of a copper-bottomed, international grade cunt. Major celebrities and the truly apalling fall into this catgeory. 40-49: An Utter, Utter Cunt It is not thought that a normal human being can attain this level of cunthood without genetic modification or going into politics. Some research on the UKNM mailing list may disprove this theory. 50-60: Deity Only gods have been this much of a cunt. hahahahah! |
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the game is damn easy tho |
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who is DLT? |
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david lee travis. incredibly dull radio 2 dj |
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appparently he's a hairy cornflake. think pork scratchings with milk and sugar |
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dunno why, but I thought this topic would be about pussy farts. |
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