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 Now online (1)big ...and 329 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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ok, been in a wonderful relationship for 6+ months now, things are fine and well. however, I often, especially now, during the summer, feel like I'm second fiddle to a lot of other things she does. I'm pretty comfy with her doing things she loves, painting, working at this crazy job, whatever, I do lots of other stuff outside our relationship too. But, when she goes to work, a party, whatever, I can't help but feel left out, often hurt. This seems pretty irrational, but what can I do? I need some solid advice here, this is a rough patch on my part of a relationship I really hope will last. |
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yessss you must have seperate lives as well as those which overlap. if you live exclusively for and about each other, you will suffer. trust me females (at least, me) need to escape and play pretend sometimes.. like at a party if you're jealous of her working, that's danger. red flag! red flag! just trust that she cares for you and let her live a little bit. okay? my advice is so disjointed. sorry |
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I used to be like you. You are WAY to attached. You fear losing her. Just be a man do your own thing. Dont worry about not getting pussy if she leaves, that why you have the internet... and your hand. |
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lol, thank you for that So the idea here is that I am overattatched clingy even? hum, I do miss her a lot though, what am I supposed to do then, go out to parties too and be like, hey, look at me, I can do this too. She likes me enough when we are together, but when we're apart, it's as if I'm not even alive. |
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i'm curious if it's bad then, to want a relationship where things are even tighter. where lots more stuff is conected to the other person, and if it's not, you wish it was. Is that unhealthy, or just immature? I have had relationship like that, and while they ended poorly, i like the stability of knowing that someone would rather do something with me, and the rest is just kinda, ho hum. yeah, that sounds irrational. |
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you need to talk to your GIRL about how you feel, not tell US. know what i mean dood....... when you have a realtionship with someone it's THEM you should be telling your feelings to and opening up your heart and mind to. ONLY if this is the real thing, and i think you know what i mean about that. peepz in relationships do things separately, thats for sure and it's healthy. but you should never feel left out. when my bf goes out with others to concerts, or movies.....i'm totally cool with that and he's the same way. it's because i have confidence in his feelings for me and he feels the same way. sounds to me, like you're not confident in her feelings for YOU, ask her.....that way you can put your mind at ease and not worry about things that don't include you 100% of the time. GOOD LUCK! |
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why do you always have such good, but difficult advice? when I am mentioning that I don't have confidence though, how should I ask her to "show me?" I'd love more love notes, or something, is that the same thing? Will that give me the confidence to not always need to be #1 on her list at all times? I'm just curious, I want to know about this before I go poking my noes in stuff that is already a problem for me! |
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i'm glad you find my advice useful =0), and i just want you to realize it's not something JUST YOU goes through, it happens to a lot of people, so thats the important thing to remember. you need to sit down face to face with her and have a chat about what you both want and need from your relationship. tell her how you feel and see what her reaction is. maybe you both have DIFFERENT expectations and thus whats important to you is not to her. sometimes when you tell someone what you NEED they will say they never knew, or they will say they can't give you what you need, etc.... you have to be ready for what she tells you and ask her to be HONEST even if it might hurt you! thing is, in a relationship, no matter what kind, HONESTY is the best policy, it puts a clarity to things and makes life easier, maybe not at first cos it may hurt, but eventually down the road you'll find this to be true. whatever you decide to do, you can't leave things as they are, cos she will UNintentionally hurt you, cos you're not honestly telling her what you NEED. and thats the BEST thing about having a partner, is SHARING things, good and bad..... anyway good luck! |
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omg, you need to write a book, this is just what I needed to hear. |
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tel her to do everything you say or else, then clearly mark out a route for her drawing feet on the floor between the bedroom and the kitchen |
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draws a CHALK outline around DOBBINS body laying on da FLOOR......t hee thanks BE! i hope you find what you're looking for.....cos when you do it will be SO WORTH THE EFFORT! |
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aight, almost done with my little letter. She is a few hours away so an e-mail will have to suffice. I just said I felt left out, that I was happy for her job, and her fun times, but that I felt like I was worth a note sometimes saying she missed me even though she had a great day. I didn't preach or harp, just said I thought I was worth it. |
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yikes, I regret the last line I just sent "we've been together long enough, and I feel like I'm worth it" (in reference to the effort to clue me into her day, and that maybe she misses me, even in an e-mail) is that good? no good, I think it's no good FUCK! |
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time for "fuck fuck fuck omg omg omg" but really about the last line, maybe something along the lines of "even though we've been together a long time, i'm still interested in your everyday life, although you may think it's boring i really care about how you're doing and feeling so just give me a shout every now and then and i'll do likewise" |
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well, fuck all, she wrote back, seemed to get the idea, but wondered aloud if there was other stuff there...... fucking hell! I wrote back a long but concise e-mail, and oh fuck....... |
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awwwwww BE! you really must have confidence in what you say! if you wrote that, you meant it. maybe there was a better way of saying it, etc......but trust yourself MORE! i recommended an IN PERSON convo because eye contact is important when you're trying to make sure someone gets your point, and is understanding what you mean.....before i wrote a letter i prolly woulda called. you MISS so much when you read a letter, tone, depth of feeling, etc....... anyway, in the future.....email yourself anything you write FIRST! and read it and see if it's REALLY what you wanna say. maybe this will help? either way.....i'm glad she wrote back, it's the first step in communication, and thats a good thing. i would suggest more PERSONAL interaction tho, like a phone call...... |
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it's harrd to get a mix that comforrtable forr 2 people that match up to what each otherr expectations arre of a rrelationship. |
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did that sound good? |
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anus you're a feeeemale? or a grrrl... so to speak? |
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uh, no. |
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btw: everything seemed to go ok, we'll have to see how she truely reacts, but she seemed to understand and want to put in more effort for me. Honesty strikes agian. |
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praise buddha! good luck sir relationships are fickle things |
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