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listentoparka
from Fisherman's Cove (United States) on 2003-05-16 01:12 [#00700586]
Points: 266 Status: Lurker
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yes i know every talk show has done a rejected xmen bit, but i dont think we have done one here, so let it begin...
My rejected xmen character would be named Glutton because his power would be that he could eat...anything...
pass it on
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Junktion
from Northern Jutland (Denmark) on 2003-05-16 01:18 [#00700595]
Points: 9713 Status: Lurker
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my character would be called "Smudge" - half man, half lubricant. And he would be impossible to catch because he's slippery all over (literally speaking).
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Cabbog
from Chautauqua (United States) on 2003-05-16 01:29 [#00700604]
Points: 2294 Status: Regular
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Do any other fellow dorks remember Wizard magazine's "Mort of the Month"? They were ridiculous superheroes\villains usually from golden age DC. The only one I can remember off hand is Barber Pole Man - Talk about lame!
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DaWeeze
from WANTED IN 16 STATES! on 2003-05-16 01:53 [#00700621]
Points: 5213 Status: Addict
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My character would be "Accidently Killed His Partner Man", who would, somehow or other, kill a new superhero he's teamed up with every issue. He would be killed off later on by "If I'm Going to Hell I'm Taking You With Me! Boy".
;)
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DiaZoHeXagoN
from The city of angels (United States) on 2003-05-16 02:23 [#00700652]
Points: 2659 Status: Lurker | Followup to DaWeeze: #00700621
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hahaha thats freakin great man
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teapot
from Paddington (Australia) on 2003-05-16 02:42 [#00700661]
Points: 5739 Status: Regular
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my bad guy tag team of "the rubber-bandit" and "static"... the rubber bandit is a thief who can bend like a rubber band... and static cant touch shit without giving and recieving a static electricity shock
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Ceri JC
from Jefferson City (United States) on 2003-05-16 03:07 [#00700686]
Points: 23533 Status: Moderator | Show recordbag
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"Ambient Man" after a tragic accident with a labtop running Absynth Ambient man became able to "sing" ambient synth pads and plays hypnotic ambient music which causes enemies to stop what they're doing and enter a trance like state. His only weakness is that occasionally a synth patch will be too much for him, causing him to stutter, repeating the same action over and over again.
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Amnesiac
from ERIE (United States) on 2003-05-16 06:10 [#00700819]
Points: 2084 Status: Lurker
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"Constant boner in public man" He'd love to fight crime but he's too busy trying to conceal his hard on in public.
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uzim
on 2003-05-16 06:25 [#00700827]
Points: 17716 Status: Lurker
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my rejected X-Men would be Y-Man! he wouldn't understand anything of what's happening, all naive, stupid and wool-gathering his head in his ass (this is a french expression btw, means you're tired, half-awake, not having slept enough, i don't know the equivalent in english)... his name would come from the fact that
everytime someone asks him to do something, or tells him something, he wouldn't understand and ask whY?. and btw, he'd wear a stupid costume and have pink wings... to make other people ask him whY he wears such a costume.
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uzim
on 2003-05-16 06:27 [#00700829]
Points: 17716 Status: Lurker
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or Unkown-Man! he'd be the X-Men ("X" as the unknown, in equations for example) no one knows (and no one cares about).
he'd come out from nowhere, with unknown mathematical powers, save the world with equatoins, and everyone would ask him "who are you?". he'd wear a teacher uniform with a big X on it.
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uzim
on 2003-05-16 06:32 [#00700832]
Points: 17716 Status: Lurker
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or H-Man! he'd be the most ultra-perverted and sexually obsessed man in the universe, and totally stupid!! his power would be to rise out tentacle cocks out from nowhere!
...and he'd look like a total geek, cliché otaku who wears huge glasses because his eyes are damaged from staring at porn on his computer all the time...
(the shame of all the X-Men ^^)
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uzim
on 2003-05-16 06:35 [#00700835]
Points: 17716 Status: Lurker
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or XXX-Man! he'd be... well... the twin soul of H-Man... ok i'll search another one -
Peace-Man! the most powerful hippie of all time!! he'd love everyone, even his enemies, spread flowers everywhere, be stoned all the time and preach respect and love and peace and sexual freedom etc... his power would come out from the magical herbs he'd smoke, he'd give hallucinations to everyone!!
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uzim
on 2003-05-16 06:51 [#00700867]
Points: 17716 Status: Lurker
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or Cliché-Goth-Man! he'd be all skinny and zombie-like, and you could tell whenever he's near walking because of all the metal satanist signs he'd wear all over his clothes and body, it would clink all the time - not counting the noise of his metal music he'd listen to all the time at full volume on his walkman... besides he'd wear all black clothes and so much make up that everyone would confuse him for an alien! his power would be to summon demons!
or Angry-Tourette-Man! he'd be angry all the time, look like psycho, and shout cuss words to everyone!! everyone would be afraid of him or should be afraid of him, because if you show the slightest thing that could annoy him, or make him think you're making fun of him, he'll throw every contusing object that he'd find towards you, and when there's nothing left he'd punch you in the face, kick you, beat you to death, screaming cuss words as loud as possible to destroy your typanums!!! FUCK SHIT *punch* DIE DIE *kick* *kick* COCK *punch* PUSSY SHIT FUCK!!!
or L337-h4X0R-Man... he'd talk a strange language composed of more numbers and symbols than letters, no one would understand, but no one would talk to him anyway since he'd be chained to a big computer, it would be all he knows from the real world... his powers would be his godlike computer skills, he could hack even microsoft.com in less than 30 seconds...
or Magical-Peasant-Man! he'd be a peasant wearing a wizard hat and a wizard dress, and cultivate awesome magical vegetables, like the exploding-mini-H-bomb-like cabbage, the super-weather-changing potato, the egg-plant that makes you invisible if you eat it, the poisonous dildo-like carrotcucumber (this one would kill H-Man or XXX-Man), the super-adrenaline-boosting mushroom, the corn that would make you grow wings, etc...
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uzim
on 2003-05-16 06:54 [#00700869]
Points: 17716 Status: Lurker
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or Sock-Puppet-Man... he'd be a living sock puppet. no special powers, but sock puppets are awesome anyway.
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KEYFUMBLER
from DUBLIN (Ireland) on 2003-05-16 08:10 [#00700971]
Points: 5696 Status: Lurker
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he ha! uzims got em all there!
my one is Wo-man. He fights vilains by pretending to be thier nest male buddy until the final scene when (s)he reveals that he ain´t no buddy at all but "Wo-man"... cant punch, cant throw things, can´t watch sci-fi s comfortasbly etc etc.. Ah ha!
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w M w
from London (United Kingdom) on 2003-05-16 13:10 [#00701316]
Points: 21454 Status: Regular
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dr. gong was pretty damn lame, yet he was popular.
How about, super taquito man. His power is to fry taquitos.
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DaWeeze
from WANTED IN 16 STATES! on 2003-05-16 13:23 [#00701333]
Points: 5213 Status: Addict | Followup to uzim: #00700869
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<---His secret identity is Chester...
;)
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DaWeeze
from WANTED IN 16 STATES! on 2003-05-16 13:30 [#00701340]
Points: 5213 Status: Addict
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How about Mystery Science Theater 3000 man, who's only power is to make fun of bad movies. His archenemies would be the "comedians" of Saturday Night Live, most black comedians trying to pass themselves off as movie actors (and we'll throw in Will Smith, while we're at it) and Vin Diesel.
;)
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GiraffePancakes
from Sydney (Canada) on 2003-05-16 13:36 [#00701346]
Points: 12 Status: Lurker
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Salmon man!! 1/4 man 3/4 fish!!
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uzim
on 2003-05-16 14:14 [#00701400]
Points: 17716 Status: Lurker
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last but not least (or is it?): Dead Man!
he's dead from the beginning, so no one can kill him!! now THAT's a super defensive power!!!
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roygbivcore
from Joyrex.com, of course! on 2003-09-28 19:38 [#00882127]
Points: 22557 Status: Lurker
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nigel: he is passive aggressive to the point of no return
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zaphod
from the metaverse on 2003-09-28 19:42 [#00882131]
Points: 4428 Status: Addict
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mine would be superman but he flies sideways. or a guy who crushes his balls.
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-V-
from Ensenada Drive on 2003-09-28 19:44 [#00882132]
Points: 1452 Status: Lurker
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Umm... how about Plastic Spoon Disposal Man - able to detect a plastic spoon hitting the ground anywhere within a 10 foot radius, rush to the source and dispose of the infected eating implement before any harm comes to the physical health of the owner.
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fleetmouse
from Horny for Truth on 2003-09-28 19:46 [#00882134]
Points: 18042 Status: Lurker | Followup to zaphod: #00882131
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rotflmao
"Stop or I'll crush my balls!"
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MAGICNINJA
from G-ville of tha FL (United States) on 2003-09-28 19:56 [#00882140]
Points: 174 Status: Lurker
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Beer Muscles Man
He would always get the X-Men into fights by being a belligerent drunk. He would seem to be unharmable because he always escapes unscathed from fights when in reality everyone pulls his weight and whenever they fight anyone else, he's passed out back at base.
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oxygenfad
from www.oxygenfad.com (Canada) on 2003-09-28 20:00 [#00882143]
Points: 4442 Status: Regular
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There actually was an Marvel glutten like character. I remember seeing an interview with Stan and he was showing a ton of Characters that came and went.
Maybe it was on the Anti Gravitiy room ?
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zaphod
from the metaverse on 2003-09-28 20:03 [#00882144]
Points: 4428 Status: Addict | Followup to fleetmouse: #00882134
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real intimidating. sort of like the samurai who perform hari kari before a battle.
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Bob Mcbob
on 2003-09-30 04:41 [#00883746]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular
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The Garbage man!
Who can take your trash out, stomp it down for you, get a bit of string and do the twisty thingie too? The garbage man can and he does it with a smile and never judges you...
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JAroen
from the pineal gland on 2003-09-30 04:50 [#00883753]
Points: 16065 Status: Regular
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the Diarrhea man!!!111 Squirting poo whenever he can!!!
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