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Axis of Just as Evil
 

offline DaWeeze from WANTED IN 16 STATES! on 2003-03-07 11:17 [#00584934]
Points: 5213 Status: Addict



Full document:
http://www.wilwheaton.net/mt/archives/001226.php#001226

The Axis of Just as Evil
March 4, 2003

This made me laugh out loud. It's allegedly written by John
Cleese, but it turns out that it originally came from
Satirewire.

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of
Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had
formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be
more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis
President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new
axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right.
They are Just as Evil...in their dreams!" declared North
Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best
evils... best at being evil...we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being
excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could
join the Axis of Evil.

"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar
al-Assad. "An Axis can't have more than three countries,"
explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my
rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany,
Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have
three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration
was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate
status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs.

Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the "Axis of
Somewhat Evil," forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and
Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil," while
Bulgaria,Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not
So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable."

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable
clubs filling up...Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda
applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the
Worst But Certainly Won't Be


 

offline DaWeeze from WANTED IN 16 STATES! on 2003-03-07 11:18 [#00584936]
Points: 5213 Status: Addict



(con't)

Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called
the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly
Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics."

Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations
That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty
Thoughts About America," while Scotland, New Zealand and
Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to
Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick." "That's not a threat, really,
just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First
Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't
perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval
for most axis, although he rejected the establishment of the
Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of
its members of filing a false application. Officials from
Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis,
but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one
asked them.



 

offline Red from Hell (New Zealand) on 2003-03-07 11:22 [#00584939]
Points: 378 Status: Addict | Followup to DaWeeze: #00584936



*while Scotland, New Zealand and
Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to

Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick." *

LOL....

LOreal Rouge Pulp to be precise ...stays on for hours even
it is kissed off by him


 

offline coffee on 2003-03-07 11:29 [#00584945]
Points: 189 Status: Addict



Meanwhile the parties Me, Myself, and I work on the
formation of the Axis of people that really need to take a
leak.


 

offline flim nanou from out of the frying pan (United States) on 2003-03-07 11:49 [#00584967]
Points: 545 Status: Lurker



I want to join the axis of nations that are quite nice but
secretly have some nasty thoughts about america


 

offline coffee on 2003-03-07 11:53 [#00584971]
Points: 189 Status: Addict | Followup to flim nanou: #00584967



who would wanna share an axis with Canada??


 

offline xian_ecci from los angeles on 2003-03-07 11:57 [#00584978]
Points: 251 Status: Regular



I AM THE AXLE OF KNIEVEL.


 

offline DaWeeze from WANTED IN 16 STATES! on 2003-03-07 12:08 [#00584990]
Points: 5213 Status: Addict



Meanwhile, Axl Rotten, Axl Rose and some other guy named Axl
form the "Axis of Axls". However, their first press
conference was cancelled as Rose never showed (again),
Rotten is still recovering from injuries from last night's
match (again) and that other Axl guy really doesn't matter
anyway.

;)


 

offline coffee on 2003-03-07 12:11 [#00584993]
Points: 189 Status: Addict | Followup to DaWeeze: #00584990



that wasnt really that funny but i just enjoyed reading it.
so thank you.


 

offline DaWeeze from WANTED IN 16 STATES! on 2003-03-07 12:16 [#00585008]
Points: 5213 Status: Addict



Sure...*mumbles under breath*


 

offline coffee on 2003-03-07 12:32 [#00585048]
Points: 189 Status: Addict | Followup to DaWeeze: #00585008



what was that?


 


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