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i need a girlfriend...
 

hevquip from a giraffes throat on 2001-09-26 21:31 [#00036878]



so, how do i go at getting one? do i purchase one at a shop?
is there a number to call or a company whom i can send a
letter to requesting one? honestly though, i'm bored and
want to get a girlfriend, so help/insult me with this issue.
by the way, i've already acknowledged the fact that i'm
pathetic for posting this, so you don't need to bring it up.


 

M.........mM(mMm)Mm.........M on 2001-09-26 21:59 [#00036882]



Ask one if she likes aeroplanes.


 

Butch on 2001-09-26 21:59 [#00036883]



Just ask me.


 

Barrett, Syd from T Dot on 2001-09-26 22:01 [#00036884]



Shouldn't have cheated dude.

Ever notice how when you have a girlfriend, there's so many
chances to cheat on her? Fucking everyone wants you. But the
second you're single, poof, they're all gone. So I suggest
find some ugly chick that will go out with you for sure,
and then try to find someone else quickly while kinda going
out with this ugly girl. Then hook up with some hot bitch,
and dump the ugly one.

It's an option.they this theory out. tell me if it works.


 

melody from minge on 2001-09-26 22:31 [#00036890]



Good in theory Syd, but from experience i can tell you it
doesnt work. The "Hot Bitch" knows you dumped your ex for
her, so she knows that when she moves onto her next victim
and dumps YOU, youll have to accept it. What goes round
comes round my friend. Any bird that wants you to finish
wiyh your bird for her is obviously insecure and on a power
trip and that aint the best foundation for a lasting shag
partner . Anyway you wont get a good lass with stoopid
foogin games. Jus get out an hav a laff.


 

hevquip from a giraffes throat on 2001-09-26 22:36 [#00036893]



hevquip: how about you don't spend so much time on the
internet you ass.

hevquip: what?!? fuck you hevquip! i sit in front of a
computer all day long at work, so i'm always on.

hevquip: well, fuck you anyways.

the theory you speak of works in this manner: because i have
a girlfriend, or potential mate, it is because of the
curiosity they have as to whether or not i have suitable
genes for reproducing. the image of me and a female as a
couple is projected to other females. this projection says
to the other females "because he has a girl, he must have
good genes" or, at not such a deep level "hey. there must be
something about him because that girl likes him. i'd like to
find out what it is." i believe that an ugly girl would only
state that i have horrible taste in girls and that i am only
able to get "ugly" bad genes, not good ones. ugly girls
would turn attractive girls away.


 

thanksomuch from planet claire on 2001-09-26 23:11 [#00036915]



oh hev... you'll need a lot of help if you ever want to keep
a girlfriend...


 

melody from moohaa on 2001-09-26 23:11 [#00036916]



True; so make sure you get seen with GOOD lookin lasses.
Claim to have a girlfriend out of town , then just be nice
an friendly to top totty (ie. so they dont think youre
interested in shagging them..after all you have a girlfriend
right?) Because these great lookin birds are round you
,being your friend, other ones will act interested , and
when you take the bait, nobody gets hurt! Yaroooooooo! Thats
it!


 

melody from mellons on 2001-09-26 23:21 [#00036922]



Why am i offering suggestions? I dont even have a clue what
i'm talking about , let alone advising anyone else. i just
re-read what i wrote and it reads like the ramblings of a
drugged horse. Theres more to life than worrying about
not having a girlfriend. There.


 

hevquip from a giraffes throat on 2001-09-26 23:50 [#00036952]



perhaps i will pay you melody to act interested in me. if i
find enough girls to do it, i imagine i'll be spending the
same amount of money on this affair as i would on a
girlfriend for various other things. perhaps i'll pay you to
look for my self esteem instead...


 

Naphex-Male from Vancouver, B.C. on 2001-09-26 23:58 [#00036957]



Hey dude...I'll be your girlfriend.
Seriously.
I can be a girl for you.


 

Narkotic from Orange County, California, USA on 2001-09-27 00:03 [#00036965]



girlfriends are a waste.... just get yourself some
fuckbuddies... thats what you REALLY want.. isn't it.


 

Organ Grinder from from my own little phuqed up world on 2001-09-27 00:26 [#00037001]



Syd has a good point. That's happened to me a lot. I was
dumped at my homecoming dance, and had one girl dump me for
my best friend, and another tired to OD on aspirin when one
of my friends called her a whore, and now she's back on
heroin....... so needless to say, i've kind of given up.

One of my theories:

The people who ignore you are the ones you fall for, the
people you ignore fall for you.

Discuss.


 

wizards teeth on 2001-09-27 09:19 [#00037114]



Scenario 1 :

ME - "Hey Lady, do you
like Aeroplanes?"

LADY - "Yes the ones with big wings"

ME - "Do you fancy getting married?"

LADY - "Yes Ok"

Its as easy as that.


 

witch toes on 2001-09-27 09:22 [#00037115]



Scenario 2:

Me: "Hey Ladies, Do you like Aeroplanes?"

LADY: "No"

The end


 

thanksomuch from planet claire on 2001-09-27 18:33 [#00037239]



hev, i am not sure what you should do. i am not seeing many
good options, although the "girl friend out of town" bit
seems t work... but then usually the guy that uses that ends
up being a porn director and well.. all hell breaks loose..
what am i talking about??


 

hevquip from a giraffes throat on 2001-09-27 18:42 [#00037244]



maybe the problem is the girls. too many of them i know of
are much too concerned with themselves and what people think
of them. where have all the decent females gone?


 

thanksomuch from planet claire on 2001-09-27 18:46 [#00037246]



there are very little, hev..... my BF tells me i am like no
other gilr he has met.. i like vintage porn, i listen to
Aphex and the like, and i don't really like girls, (ie: i
constanly make fun of them)... maybe you can build a profile
ofht ekind of gal you'd like, ad then look for one with
that.. or..... grab five bucks and head for the biggest
intersection in your town, unzpp your pants, but leave the
top buttoned, and put the five dollar bill in your zipper.


 

hevquip from a giraffes throat on 2001-09-27 18:50 [#00037248]



i'll go do that, but only if you post the bail money to get
me out of jail for public indecency charges.

my dream girl: must not be comatose, nice rack, tight ass,
and swallows. erm, i think i'm going at this all wrong...


 

Chilled on 2001-09-27 19:52 [#00037261]



yeah,i still gots a girlfriend...trouble is though,she is
obsessed with feet..always makin me kiss em...they taste
just like anything else...she tryin to dominate meh or
something...i cant take it!


 

thanksomuch from planet claire on 2001-09-28 02:01 [#00037414]



relfex, i am not a lesbo! i am just a bitch...


 

Neo-Hippeh on 2001-09-28 02:54 [#00037420]



yeah! i cant tellyou how many times ive fucked her/him/it?


 

Naphex-Male from Vancouver, B.C. on 2001-09-28 05:02 [#00037450]



I was a lesbian in college...then I decided that being a
non-lesbian male could be fun too. I did not however decide
to become a gay male. Sorry guys!

thanksomuch: Hi wassap? You dig vintage porn? Whoa! I love
you more than ever...oh no is that gasoline on the floor?
Cuz you iz on fire baby!
Uh!


 

Naphex-Male from Vancouver, B.C. on 2001-09-28 11:00 [#00037514]



I was being serious babe...
wanna cum over?
cuz man!


 

offline Key_Secret from Sverige (Sweden) on 2003-07-30 14:08 [#00800767]
Points: 9325 Status: Regular



a typical xltronic topic, you can find in the archives...
These topics don't come anymore... and perhaps, that's a
good thing.


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-30 14:10 [#00800774]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker



but while we arre on the subject... i rreally do, it's been
too long. i need some good lovin.


 

offline Spacecadet on 2003-07-30 14:11 [#00800776]
Points: 1790 Status: Lurker | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00800774



awww, i'd give you some brown love candypants


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-30 14:12 [#00800779]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker | Followup to Spacecadet: #00800776



aww if we all had frriends like you.


 

offline Spacecadet on 2003-07-30 14:13 [#00800781]
Points: 1790 Status: Lurker | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00800779



hahaha


 

offline drummond from coffee, ahh, a burger, ahh on 2003-07-30 14:13 [#00800782]
Points: 1021 Status: Addict



i don't want no brown love muthafucka!


 

offline Key_Secret from Sverige (Sweden) on 2003-07-30 14:14 [#00800783]
Points: 9325 Status: Regular | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00800779



aren't there any girls who are ringmasters?


 

offline Spacecadet on 2003-07-30 14:15 [#00800785]
Points: 1790 Status: Lurker | Followup to Key_Secret: #00800783



haha ringmasters, my fave word for people who pot the
brown....

ring raiders! u remember ring raiders right?


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-30 14:15 [#00800786]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker | Followup to Key_Secret: #00800783



maybe but i bet they have thighs like a horrse forr some
rreason.

saying that do you think girrls go forr a guy with a big
whip, rred coat and top hat on?


 

offline drummond from coffee, ahh, a burger, ahh on 2003-07-30 14:16 [#00800789]
Points: 1021 Status: Addict | Followup to Anus_Presley: #00800786



...and a curly moustache


 

offline Anus_Presley on 2003-07-30 14:18 [#00800794]
Points: 23472 Status: Lurker | Followup to drummond: #00800789



i go forr the rridgid pointy moustache myself


 

offline Key_Secret from Sverige (Sweden) on 2003-07-30 14:21 [#00800801]
Points: 9325 Status: Regular | Followup to Spacecadet: #00800785



sorry... don't remember ring raiders...

AP: Yeah some girls certainly get on to that. But I've never
tried it myself, as it is not my style really.


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2003-07-30 14:24 [#00800818]
Points: 11010 Status: Lurker



Hevquip....that whiny bitch...what happend to him


 

offline Spacecadet on 2003-07-30 14:27 [#00800828]
Points: 1790 Status: Lurker



ring raiders were small toy plastic airplanes that attached
to a plastic ring you wore on your finger and ran around
flying it, i think it's a good name for bummers too


 

offline recycle from Where is Phobiazero (Lincoln) (United States) on 2003-07-30 14:33 [#00800846]
Points: 40066 Status: Lurker | Followup to Monoid: #00800818



hes popped in a few times the past week

hes busy you whiney bitch


 

offline DeLtoiD from Ontario on 2003-07-30 14:58 [#00800918]
Points: 2934 Status: Lurker



LOL.

get some! hahaha... nothing better than getting real drunk
and acting like a moron in front of a bunch of ladies.

they'lll eat you up ROFL.

;0



 


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