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Monumrnt
from To (Canada) on 2003-01-31 06:37 [#00535435]
Points: 733 Status: Addict
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...put needle in violin's eyes dolls with fake heart played it whole my life nobody dropped a tear.
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bill_hicks
from my city is amazing it is calle on 2003-01-31 06:57 [#00535439]
Points: 4286 Status: Lurker
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That has to be the most profound piece of poetry I have read in a long long time. Are you a published poet? If you are not then I would like to know why not. You are depriving the whole world of your gift
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BlatantEcho
from All over (United States) on 2003-01-31 13:50 [#00535623]
Points: 7210 Status: Lurker
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i don't understand the grammar.
the structure is fine, but "played it whole my life" doesn't mean anything
unless it is kinda of aliteration where "whole" sounds like "all"
"dolls with fake heart" <-- you either forgot the "S" or that just doesn't make sense.
---------- not trying to be overly critical, it is a nice shrot piece, but it certainly makes no sense in english, perhaps a translation from some more romantic language?
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BlatantEcho
from All over (United States) on 2003-01-31 13:50 [#00535624]
Points: 7210 Status: Lurker | Followup to BlatantEcho: #00535623
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give my type of "short = shrot" perhaps that is all that confused me, a few typos on your part......
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Monumrnt
from To (Canada) on 2003-01-31 14:32 [#00535654]
Points: 733 Status: Addict
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Maybe it is supposed to be contravertial.
bill_hicks, I have my moments.
HAHAHAHAHA heh... etceteras
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Bob Mcbob
on 2003-01-31 14:42 [#00535666]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular
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and also violins dont have eyes
but i liked like 3
try for a hikoo next
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Monumrnt
from To (Canada) on 2003-01-31 14:43 [#00535667]
Points: 733 Status: Addict
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bob it was only out of tune.
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Monumrnt
from To (Canada) on 2003-01-31 15:12 [#00535710]
Points: 733 Status: Addict
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And it was playing about the war in BEEEEEP!
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theo himself
from +- on 2003-01-31 15:14 [#00535712]
Points: 3348 Status: Regular
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first line of bill hicks' response to that = classic. I'm on the floor.
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AphexAcid
from Sweden on 2003-01-31 15:31 [#00535744]
Points: 2568 Status: Lurker
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Hey, I've heard that word before. Hikoo, Hiku, what is it?
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Bob Mcbob
on 2003-01-31 15:35 [#00535750]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular
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5 short syllables and then a line of seven then another 5
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AphexAcid
from Sweden on 2003-01-31 15:36 [#00535753]
Points: 2568 Status: Lurker
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Could you write one? Sorry, I don't understand.
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Bob Mcbob
on 2003-01-31 15:43 [#00535763]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular
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i did write one! gah!
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AphexAcid
from Sweden on 2003-01-31 15:48 [#00535768]
Points: 2568 Status: Lurker
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Haha, uh, ok. What's the meaning of it?
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Bob Mcbob
on 2003-01-31 15:52 [#00535776]
Points: 9939 Status: Regular
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i thought explaining what a hikoo was in the form of a hikoo was pretty classy, and your stepping all over it :P
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theo himself
from +- on 2003-01-31 15:53 [#00535778]
Points: 3348 Status: Regular
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haiku
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