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Dave on 2001-08-12 01:29 [#00021144] | |||||||||
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i've got a drug screen coming up in about 2.5 weeks (of course, i really have no idea exactly when it will be). i've been smoking herb pretty heavily for the past week. anyone know of a surefire way to pass this shit that doesn't involve buying some sketchy detox bottle at a head shop? |
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thanksomuch from over there on 2001-08-12 01:52 [#00021155] | |||||||||
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lots and lots of fluid, dave. i've heard and don't take this too literally, that eating large quanities of parsly helps. but mostly, you have to drink a large amount of water and or tea.. try a green unroasted tea... |
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Xanatos from NYC on 2001-08-12 02:01 [#00021161] | |||||||||
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Agreed: No smoking till the test (obviously) 15 glasses of water per day. Plus Juice/Lemonade anything that will rinse out your body. Keep a huge jug of water with you at all times. If you can strictly stick to that I pretty much gaurentee success, luckily you have plenty of time. |
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Dave on 2001-08-12 02:09 [#00021162] | |||||||||
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thanks for the suggestions. i don't know what kind of test it'll be, whether hair, urine, or blood. if it's hair or blood, i figure i'm probably fucked, but i hear that most drug screens are urine tests...anyway, keep the tips coming! |
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Leelee Sobeiski on 2001-08-12 02:09 [#00021163] | |||||||||
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Smoke alot of crack and hard substances and that should help you pass the drug test. |
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Xanatos from NYC on 2001-08-12 02:14 [#00021165] | |||||||||
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Ahh, how humorous to suggest that doing drugs would HELP you pass a drug test! To think! Funny man, funny, funny, man... |
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thanksomuch from over there on 2001-08-12 02:19 [#00021170] | |||||||||
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dave, it is most likely urine.. do you mind me asking what this is for.. porol? a job? |
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boxrocket on 2001-08-12 02:22 [#00021172] | |||||||||
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drink any and everything you can find that will make you piss a lot. the more you piss, the better. these things i have used, and although i'm not sure which ones worked and which ones didn't, i passed every test i've ever taken. alcohol pickle juice (seriously; although it does taste like shit) tea lots and lots of water lemon juice and if you're in the states (i don't know if they have it in uk or not) you can buy KNOX gelatin, the shit you use to make jello. empty the packets into milk or water (milk hides the taste for the most part) and drink about two packets of it. i've heard from quite a few people that this works very well, and when i tried it i came out clean. |
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Dave on 2001-08-12 02:23 [#00021173] | |||||||||
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Parole. I got arrested a few months ago for sodomy charges and now I'm on probation and have to do this shit test every week. It sucks. |
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thanksomuch from over there on 2001-08-12 02:26 [#00021175] | |||||||||
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sodomy Dave, please, we are trying to help you, don't make a mockery of us...... i've done my good deed for the year..... |
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Dave on 2001-08-12 02:28 [#00021176] | |||||||||
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Honestly, it's for sodomy, I kid you not. They also check my anus size along with test, it sucks. |
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thanksomuch from over there on 2001-08-12 02:40 [#00021181] | |||||||||
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parole.. most likely a pee test, the other two cost too much.. take our advice(minus the crack one) and drink up..... |
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thanksomuch from over there on 2001-08-12 02:45 [#00021184] | |||||||||
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ahh, and stay away from poppy seed... ok, i am off to sleeeeeeeeep now...... |
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Jeff Dahmer on 2001-08-12 02:45 [#00021185] | |||||||||
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You could try drinking the urine of a person that doesn't do drugs. Or you could pour their urine down your wee-wee hole... |
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thanksomuch from over there on 2001-08-12 02:50 [#00021188] | |||||||||
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jeff you bastard, YOU are the one who sent me that fucking pic...... nice work. |
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Jeff Dahmer on 2001-08-12 02:57 [#00021191] | |||||||||
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It was pure enjoyment, I'm glad you "caught" on. You refused my msn invitation, I was distraught, I didn't know what I was doing, I spiraled into deep depression...... But I'll have you know, that photo I sent you is very hard to come by, It was taken by Dahmer during the stages, I have more of the same guy, basically the same thing of the guy's ribcage and legs in the bath, and I have two of the other photos taken by Dahmer of a victim. Would you like to see them? Would anyone like to see them? |
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Vcheilie on 2001-08-12 03:36 [#00021195] | |||||||||
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honestly dave,as much as i can tell you,youre pretty much screwed if: -your a full time addict(smoke every day) my mate sam...he did that,drank fuckin gallons of water everyday,failed the piss test 3 weeks later...but good luck...honestly,not tryin to ruin our hopes...good luck.. |
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Dave on 2001-08-12 04:22 [#00021204] | |||||||||
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Thanksomuch, the job is at a hospital as a technician. |
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Dave on 2001-08-12 04:29 [#00021210] | |||||||||
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Thanksomuch, the job is at a hospital as a technician. |
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CUN8eR LASIT from LASiT on 2001-08-12 05:00 [#00021213] | |||||||||
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Exercise will help too - increase your metabolism an all. |
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=|R3FL3X|= from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada on 2001-08-12 07:55 [#00021247] | |||||||||
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Dave: All you have to do.... this works so WELL! I did it for a job a while ago. All you have to do is get someone who is CLEAN to {this is gross but hey do what you need to right?} take a piss that morning, in something. Then just make the switch. |
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od from perth on 2001-08-12 09:18 [#00021267] | |||||||||
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...or you could have a bit of a laugh and that.... leave a mull leaf in the pisscup. when they see it just shrug real exaggerated like and go "aw shit i piss mull man" and smile really baldy. id love to do that. |
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=|R3FL3X|= from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada on 2001-08-12 09:26 [#00021268] | |||||||||
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hahaha |
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Thiefofalways from Germany on 2001-08-12 09:31 [#00021269] | |||||||||
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Dave, Im a soldier and they test us all the time. I really cant smoke on a regular basis, but I still do now and again, heres a few tricks that might help, maybe not, but a guy who does the tests told me this.... You are pretty much screwed if they take blood, youd have to use a strong detox for that, but its most likely a piss test, cause the blood ones are expensive. Drink all the water the other guys were tellin you about and yes, exercise helps as well. The day before the test go to the supermarket. They have this stuff, its flavorless gelatin, which is the base for jello, it comes in powder form like jello, but when mixed its a completely clear jelly. Take a box or two and mix it with a full glass of water and just chug it down.The guy told me when it hits your stomach, it will gel through your system and pull all kinds of toxins out in the process.Its actually a food base, so it wont hurt you though it tastes real bad! Another way we get out of it is to do 1 of 2 things. Right before you leave to go test, dip your pinky finger in bleach and let it completely dry, when you test, piss over that pinky. 2nd would be to make sure to get a pubic hair in the bottle with the piss.Neither of these things will make your system clean, but the bleach will screw up the results and the hair will contaminate the test, both buying you the time it takes to send the test out (unless they do it right there) and get the results back, which may take a week or two, and by then your system will actualy be clean. Hope that helps mate :-) |
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=|R3FL3X|= from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada on 2001-08-12 10:45 [#00021278] | |||||||||
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Wow... cool. Ill remember that. Learn something everyday. |
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Sepix from european realm on 2001-08-12 17:09 [#00021302] | |||||||||
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hmm i ask my self what the favourite love partner for a sodomist is ??!! First I thought about cats, dogs or chickens; but now i´m sure it`s a female human ape ! muahaha |
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Dave on 2001-08-12 20:26 [#00021318] | |||||||||
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the gelatin idea is looking more and more ingenious. i'll have to try that. and it looks as if i'll have to start running a couple miles everyday - might chuff off some of my fatass in the process... |
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Thiefofalways from Germany on 2001-08-12 21:56 [#00021334] | |||||||||
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golden seal tea works as well dave, they tests us for that as well though, but a private place might not, that one works for sure, ive passed with it myself, go to health store and just ask them for it |
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Dave on 2001-08-12 22:28 [#00021340] | |||||||||
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thanks again for the tips, thiefofalways. what kind of test do you think will be administered? -- the job is a clinical assistant position in the emergency room of a hospital here in the states. i figure they probably have access to the best technology - of course i'm hoping that's not the case. |
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Xtal from Amsterdam on 2001-08-13 02:13 [#00021378] | |||||||||
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Drink lots of cranberry juice. I drank a couple bottles before a test once and came out clean. |
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Baron Von Picklefoot from The Baron Got a new computer !!!! on 2001-08-13 08:07 [#00021432] | |||||||||
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I found if I full my pants with pudding and fling monkey poo at the walls everything will be ok at the end of the day!THE BARON HAS SPOKEN!!P.S> You could try any other kind of poo but your results may very |
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al>< from dublin on 2001-08-13 10:28 [#00021454] | |||||||||
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GUARANTEED: 3 DAYS - 6 LITRES OF CRANBERRY JUICE A DAY....fucking serious about this! |
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Thiefofalways from Germany on 2001-08-13 12:02 [#00021474] | |||||||||
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Theres alot of different tests for different things. The most accurate one Ive ever heard of is the hair folicle test, they can what youve ingested in YEARS with that test, its wicked expensive though... Blood is a bit more accurate than the piss test, but also costs more. I dunno exactly what you are goin into as far as the company goes, but I work for the Govt. (25 more days anyhow) and they only piss test us, so Id be suprised if they did anymore than at for a hospital. Usualy, Ive heard they only test you for 2 or 3 random substances, mary jane almost always being on the list, which i think is lame. Hope it works out for you though, it would be a shame to lose a good job just because you toke every now and again, conservative thinking sucks ass. |
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od from perth on 2001-08-13 14:06 [#00021488] | |||||||||
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this post is fuckgin hilarious go the baron lol |
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Dave on 2001-08-13 20:53 [#00021550] | |||||||||
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so, to change the subject a little, do any of you yanks out there think the buddah will be legalized here in the states? they did legalize medical weed up in canada, but who knows what's going on with canada... |
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[FSA]Barber from Nottingham/U.K. on 2001-08-13 21:56 [#00021561] | |||||||||
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straight thinking leads to one conclusion..... to gain |
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[FSA]Barber from Nottingham/U.K. on 2001-08-13 22:02 [#00021562] | |||||||||
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straight thinking leads to one conclusion..... to gain the serenity of sativa confusion, apply your skills to professionalism where the addition of drugs only heightens the power of your work. ahh well.... i wish anyways :/ Babs oot... =) |
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[FSA]Barber from Nottingham/U.K. on 2001-08-13 22:04 [#00021563] | |||||||||
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admire my double postin skills! :/ |
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Dave on 2001-08-14 01:38 [#00021585] | |||||||||
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what percentage of the population in u.s. and britain smoke weed? and i'm not talking about "have smoked once" but somewhat regularly, like at least twice a month. it's a pointless question, but fueled by stoner curiosity |
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thanksomuch from over there on 2001-08-14 04:08 [#00021613] | |||||||||
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Jeff, thanks but no thanks.. i am sure if i wanted to see more, or any thing like those, i would hop on over to rotten.com . my picture was lovely, wasn't it?? |
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Baron Von Picklefoot from The Baron Got a new computer !!!! on 2001-08-14 06:49 [#00021647] | |||||||||
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Here's what we will do everyone send me all of your used socks and I will clean the and build the biggies sock in the world.With this giant sock I will rule the world muhhhhh hahahahahaha COUGH hahahahahhah!!!!THE BARON HAS SPOKEN !!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Crocodile Dundee on 2001-08-14 07:37 [#00021651] | |||||||||
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It's pretty fuckin' funny when you read about Americans complaining: "....oh when do you think the government will legalise pot?" |
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