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how did you pop your cherry
 

offline mermaidman from the pacific ocean on 2019-04-28 11:54 [#02576176]
Points: 4999 Status: Regular



i was dancing naked in my bedroom and fell from my window
onto a very large mushroom which had a lot of girth and it
entered my anus


 

offline Indeksical from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2019-04-28 11:58 [#02576177]
Points: 9794 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



A sad and lonely fat girl.


 

offline RussellDust on 2019-04-28 12:17 [#02576179]
Points: 13642 Status: Regular



Never popped a cherry, but my own was popped (so to speak)
by a chick who knew exactly what she was doing. She filled
me up with Es and then said she had nowhere to sleep. She
really knew what she was doing! A little older too. Anyway I
was happy the next day. I still remember being all proud at
the outdoor swimming pool, on beautiful summers day.


 

offline mermaidman from the pacific ocean on 2019-04-28 12:17 [#02576180]
Points: 4999 Status: Regular | Followup to Indeksical: #02576177



not as epic as mine but dat's still cool


 

offline Tony Danza from Bright Moon on 2019-04-28 15:04 [#02576188]
Points: 1237 Status: Regular



I'm volcel until I meet a nice girl with a 14 words tattoo


 

offline mohamed on 2019-04-28 15:47 [#02576189]
Points: 27692 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



i have blurred memories, was prolly a long and complicated
path to the first time


 

offline mohamed on 2019-04-28 15:53 [#02576190]
Points: 27692 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



i remember the first wank at 12, and the first attempt
around 13, i asked her if something had entered and she said
she didnt know picture that


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2019-04-28 17:55 [#02576194]
Points: 21119 Status: Regular



It's like nes dragon quest, you grind in the forest killing
slimes, except masturbating instead. After your 10,000th
wank "congratulations" appears on the screen of your eyes
and you status changes from "virgin" to "cool guy" and your
avatar wears sunglasses.


 

offline mermaidman from the pacific ocean on 2019-04-28 18:39 [#02576196]
Points: 4999 Status: Regular | Followup to w M w: #02576194



it’s cause you need to level up before you can have a sex
with more powerful monsters


 

offline mermaidman from the pacific ocean on 2019-04-28 18:40 [#02576197]
Points: 4999 Status: Regular



or before your landlord lets you invite a sex partner during
nighttime


 

offline w M w from London (United Kingdom) on 2019-04-28 19:07 [#02576198]
Points: 21119 Status: Regular | Followup to mermaidman: #02576196



Congratulations dr steve brule on #10,000
LAZY_TITLE
he's probably having sex with dingussauruses by now


 

offline mermaidman from the pacific ocean on 2019-04-28 19:16 [#02576199]
Points: 4999 Status: Regular | Followup to w M w: #02576198



dr steve brule my fav tim and eric character the best
sketches they do i think are with other actors the other
being zach galifianakis


 

offline RussellDust on 2019-04-28 20:18 [#02576205]
Points: 13642 Status: Regular



I’ve had enough with this place.


 

offline Indeksical from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2019-04-28 20:39 [#02576206]
Points: 9794 Status: Lurker | Followup to RussellDust: #02576205 | Show recordbag



What was the final straw?


 

offline Tony Danza from Bright Moon on 2019-04-28 20:42 [#02576207]
Points: 1237 Status: Regular | Followup to Indeksical: #02576206



I think we didn't congratulate him on his e-bumping.


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2019-04-28 20:50 [#02576208]
Points: 23285 Status: Addict



The first time a woman touched my knob she almost pulled it
off, its not an arcade joystick you know


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2019-04-28 20:51 [#02576209]
Points: 23285 Status: Addict | Followup to RussellDust: #02576179



was she sexy with big zeppelins?


 

offline mermaidman from the pacific ocean on 2019-04-28 21:00 [#02576212]
Points: 4999 Status: Regular | Followup to RussellDust: #02576205



you don't like dr. steve brule you dingus


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2019-04-28 21:05 [#02576213]
Points: 23285 Status: Addict



Ya blew it


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2019-04-28 22:34 [#02576218]
Points: 10876 Status: Regular



I think after enough cognitive behavioral therapy & pua
theory, i will be ready for sex in the next 20 years


 

offline mermaidman from the pacific ocean on 2019-04-28 23:36 [#02576221]
Points: 4999 Status: Regular | Followup to Monoid: #02576218



monoid my friend i was expecting you


 

offline Roger Wilco from You fool! Look out! on 2019-04-28 23:36 [#02576222]
Points: 209 Status: Regular



Spunk.

Everywhere.


 

offline hevquip from megagram dusk sect (United States) on 2019-04-29 00:25 [#02576223]
Points: 3031 Status: Regular



i vaguely remember you posting a thread circa 2001-2002
about having sex with a prostitute as your first, monoid.
but i also vaguely remember it being false, so surely you've
participated in the "il penetrata" since


 

offline Monoid from one source all things depend on 2019-04-29 13:30 [#02576234]
Points: 10876 Status: Regular | Followup to hevquip: #02576223



It was just a fantasy of mine.
I don't wanna have sex with prostitutes out of health and
security concerns. They all have aids, you know


 

offline DADONCK from here on 2019-04-29 14:21 [#02576235]
Points: 1669 Status: Regular | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02576222



LAZY_TITLE


 

offline mohamed on 2019-04-29 14:43 [#02576237]
Points: 27692 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



ho ho ho ho ho ho ho

sniffing ass

fucking cunt


 

offline mermaidman from the pacific ocean on 2019-04-29 16:11 [#02576256]
Points: 4999 Status: Regular



mohamed you’re not interested in eating ass anymore


 

offline mermaidman from the pacific ocean on 2019-04-29 18:36 [#02576262]
Points: 4999 Status: Regular



when someone stops eating ass do they go cold turkey or can
you still eat ass every once in a while


 

offline Tony Danza from Bright Moon on 2019-04-29 18:40 [#02576264]
Points: 1237 Status: Regular



I think we've all encountered, that one ass that whispers
eeeeaaat meeeeee...


 

offline mermaidman from the pacific ocean on 2019-04-29 19:35 [#02576267]
Points: 4999 Status: Regular | Followup to Tony Danza: #02576264



ass eaters anonymous should be a thing


 

offline DADONCK from here on 2019-04-29 22:33 [#02576272]
Points: 1669 Status: Regular



i just bought a 1:2 E.T. stunt puppet that will be my
girlfriend


 

offline Tony Danza from Bright Moon on 2019-04-29 23:30 [#02576273]
Points: 1237 Status: Regular | Followup to mermaidman: #02576267



like a glory hole for the ass you mean?


 

offline mermaidman from the pacific ocean on 2019-04-30 10:11 [#02576292]
Points: 4999 Status: Regular | Followup to Tony Danza: #02576273



no that's like handing a bottle to an alcoholic i mean when
you meet other ass eaters after work and share how ass
eating ruined your life and support other ass eaters to stay
sober


 

offline Roger Wilco from You fool! Look out! on 2019-04-30 11:15 [#02576293]
Points: 209 Status: Regular



I only hope that whoever left the porous, yellow rabbit
tods
in the office can is seeking the medical
attention they so urgently need.


 

offline Tony Danza from Bright Moon on 2019-04-30 12:52 [#02576294]
Points: 1237 Status: Regular



Wilco you're at stage 7 of the Ass Eater's Progress, Bowl
Monitor


 

offline mermaidman from the pacific ocean on 2019-04-30 13:24 [#02576295]
Points: 4999 Status: Regular



guys i'm not against ass eating i don't want to sound like i
am if someone enjoys eating ass i think they should


 

offline mohamed on 2019-04-30 14:55 [#02576300]
Points: 27692 Status: Addict | Show recordbag



id rather lick legs what do you think


 

offline DADONCK from here on 2019-04-30 18:01 [#02576325]
Points: 1669 Status: Regular



LAZY_TITLE


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2019-04-30 18:09 [#02576328]
Points: 23285 Status: Addict



when was the first time your saw a hairy minge?


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2019-04-30 18:10 [#02576331]
Points: 23285 Status: Addict | Followup to DADONCK: #02576325



im ashamed to say ive seen that before, who thought it was a
good idea even for the novelty, that guy really had to
concentrate on what he was doing rather than look at the
costume, consummate professional


 

offline mohamed on 2019-04-30 18:18 [#02576333]
Points: 27692 Status: Addict | Followup to Hyperflake: #02576328 | Show recordbag



great question. i have a story to share. i cant remember the
first time i saw a hairy minge (prolly my mother's one,
which didnt seem had lots of hair cos of the fat, or what i
could see of the pubes), but i clearly remember the first
time i saw a naked minge, i was in nursery school and a
classmate had the idea to force a girl to drop her pants,
and he did behind a bush in the school garden, at recreation
time. i was standing behind him and assisted the scene. at
the end the day both or heads were under a boots of a
relative of her, i think everyone assisted to the punishment
and agreed.


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2019-04-30 18:21 [#02576334]
Points: 23285 Status: Addict | Followup to mohamed: #02576333



brutal! the first couple of minges I saw and im not making
this up, was when I was about 10 and I looked out the window
and up the road a couple of women, mother and daughter who
were amateur wrestlers, big women where sunbathing totally
nude on deck chairs, I think I got a bit of a twinge I cant
remember, it was an unbelievable sight,


 

offline Roger Wilco from You fool! Look out! on 2019-04-30 19:36 [#02576339]
Points: 209 Status: Regular



Some great minge stories guys, keep it up!


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2019-04-30 19:50 [#02576340]
Points: 23285 Status: Addict



loool


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2019-04-30 19:55 [#02576341]
Points: 23285 Status: Addict



'xltronic, only the best minge based anecdotes"


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2019-04-30 19:56 [#02576342]
Points: 23285 Status: Addict



first time I saw my dads knob when he was getting out of the
shower I wondered why his bell end looked like the planet
Saturn, years later I realised he must have been circumcised
for some reason


 

offline mohamed on 2019-04-30 21:24 [#02576345]
Points: 27692 Status: Addict | Followup to Roger Wilco: #02576339 | Show recordbag



thanks, they just keep coming to mind one after another


 

offline mermaidman from the pacific ocean on 2019-04-30 21:36 [#02576346]
Points: 4999 Status: Regular



when i saw my first minge i think i got scared and cried a
little


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2019-04-30 21:37 [#02576347]
Points: 23285 Status: Addict | Followup to mermaidman: #02576346



was it your nanas?


 

offline mermaidman from the pacific ocean on 2019-04-30 21:41 [#02576348]
Points: 4999 Status: Regular | Followup to Hyperflake: #02576347



no a friend showed it to me on his phone at my 27th birthday
party


 


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