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 Now online (1)Cliff Glitchard ...and 62 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2608907 Today 1 Topics 127234 |
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i was dancing naked in my bedroom and fell from my window onto a very large mushroom which had a lot of girth and it entered my anus |
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A sad and lonely fat girl. |
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Never popped a cherry, but my own was popped (so to speak) by a chick who knew exactly what she was doing. She filled me up with Es and then said she had nowhere to sleep. She really knew what she was doing! A little older too. Anyway I was happy the next day. I still remember being all proud at the outdoor swimming pool, on beautiful summers day. |
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not as epic as mine but dat's still cool |
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I'm volcel until I meet a nice girl with a 14 words tattoo |
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i have blurred memories, was prolly a long and complicated path to the first time |
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i remember the first wank at 12, and the first attempt around 13, i asked her if something had entered and she said she didnt know picture that |
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It's like nes dragon quest, you grind in the forest killing slimes, except masturbating instead. After your 10,000th wank "congratulations" appears on the screen of your eyes and you status changes from "virgin" to "cool guy" and your avatar wears sunglasses. |
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it’s cause you need to level up before you can have a sex with more powerful monsters |
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or before your landlord lets you invite a sex partner during nighttime |
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Congratulations dr steve brule on #10,000 he's probably having sex with dingussauruses by now |
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dr steve brule my fav tim and eric character the best sketches they do i think are with other actors the other being zach galifianakis |
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I’ve had enough with this place. |
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What was the final straw? |
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I think we didn't congratulate him on his e-bumping. |
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The first time a woman touched my knob she almost pulled it off, its not an arcade joystick you know |
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was she sexy with big zeppelins? |
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you don't like dr. steve brule you dingus |
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Ya blew it |
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I think after enough cognitive behavioral therapy & pua theory, i will be ready for sex in the next 20 years |
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monoid my friend i was expecting you |
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Spunk. Everywhere. |
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i vaguely remember you posting a thread circa 2001-2002 about having sex with a prostitute as your first, monoid. but i also vaguely remember it being false, so surely you've participated in the "il penetrata" since |
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It was just a fantasy of mine. I don't wanna have sex with prostitutes out of health and security concerns. They all have aids, you know |
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ho ho ho ho ho ho ho sniffing ass fucking cunt |
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mohamed you’re not interested in eating ass anymore |
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when someone stops eating ass do they go cold turkey or can you still eat ass every once in a while |
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I think we've all encountered, that one ass that whispers eeeeaaat meeeeee... |
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ass eaters anonymous should be a thing |
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i just bought a 1:2 E.T. stunt puppet that will be my girlfriend |
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like a glory hole for the ass you mean? |
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no that's like handing a bottle to an alcoholic i mean when you meet other ass eaters after work and share how ass eating ruined your life and support other ass eaters to stay sober |
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I only hope that whoever left the porous, yellow rabbit tods in the office can is seeking the medical attention they so urgently need. |
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Wilco you're at stage 7 of the Ass Eater's Progress, Bowl Monitor |
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guys i'm not against ass eating i don't want to sound like i am if someone enjoys eating ass i think they should |
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id rather lick legs what do you think |
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when was the first time your saw a hairy minge? |
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im ashamed to say ive seen that before, who thought it was a good idea even for the novelty, that guy really had to concentrate on what he was doing rather than look at the costume, consummate professional |
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great question. i have a story to share. i cant remember the first time i saw a hairy minge (prolly my mother's one, which didnt seem had lots of hair cos of the fat, or what i could see of the pubes), but i clearly remember the first time i saw a naked minge, i was in nursery school and a classmate had the idea to force a girl to drop her pants, and he did behind a bush in the school garden, at recreation time. i was standing behind him and assisted the scene. at the end the day both or heads were under a boots of a relative of her, i think everyone assisted to the punishment and agreed. |
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brutal! the first couple of minges I saw and im not making this up, was when I was about 10 and I looked out the window and up the road a couple of women, mother and daughter who were amateur wrestlers, big women where sunbathing totally nude on deck chairs, I think I got a bit of a twinge I cant remember, it was an unbelievable sight, |
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Some great minge stories guys, keep it up! |
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loool |
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'xltronic, only the best minge based anecdotes" |
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first time I saw my dads knob when he was getting out of the shower I wondered why his bell end looked like the planet Saturn, years later I realised he must have been circumcised for some reason |
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thanks, they just keep coming to mind one after another |
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when i saw my first minge i think i got scared and cried a little |
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was it your nanas? |
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no a friend showed it to me on his phone at my 27th birthday party |
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