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SignedUpToLOL
from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2018-07-08 08:39 [#02556087]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular
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I've gone down a rabbit hole of reading the synopsises (synopisi? synopses?) of homosexual/bisexual/whatever romance ebooks. This one for a book called "Rupert" kills me;
"A bisexual, polyamorous aristocrat with too many secrets
discovers his one-night stand is a gossip journalist with strong opinions on the nobility."
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SignedUpToLOL
from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2018-07-08 08:46 [#02556088]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular
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Part of the charm is how badly it's written. I bet there's some serious coin to be made churning out hom-rom.
Sebastian, thinking ahead to his meeting later that morning with the refugee relief committee, cupped Ramon's exquisite brown Brazilian balls; "I won't be around for brunch I'm afraid," he said in his crisp, educated tone "so you better let me suck you off now".
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SignedUpToLOL
from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2018-07-08 09:02 [#02556089]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular
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Sebastian, the human rights lawyer, listened intently to Negassi's harrowing tale of how he'd escaped persecution for being a gay in Eritrea. Negassi's name meant "King" in jungle language, and Sebastian's mind was wandering from the legal technicalities of the case and into a dark, dank, even dangerous place where this "King" ruled over him. Sebastian could undo so much colonial harm by rimming this regal refugee. He wanted to sweep away all the papers off his desk, drop his trousers, bend over and say "Welcome to the UK"
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SignedUpToLOL
from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2018-07-08 09:07 [#02556090]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular
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The real trick would be to write a homo-rom book but, through the wilfully unfortunate use of outdated language, make it apparent that the author's either not gay or uncomfortable being an unconscious gay. I don't know why I think this train of thought is worth pursuing beyond one initial self-lol.
I called the cat Sex Dog earlier and laughed. I think I am cracking up.
"A Cry for Help" - that'll be the book title.
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2018-07-08 09:25 [#02556091]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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i dont know why but this reminds me of the day i saw this intellectual-rasta guy at the psycho-social center i go to, with an african immigrant, that made his case with the operator there (a girl that asking for the african's id placed herself between his legs) like he was a lawyer but truly dealing with him as an inferior as a jealous wife would do,
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2018-07-08 09:27 [#02556092]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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sorry, as a jealous husband would do
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2018-07-08 09:43 [#02556093]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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maybe a case where the rasta struggles not to be gay in that situation where the african with small balls fucks them both. lol.
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SignedUpToLOL
from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2018-07-08 09:47 [#02556094]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular
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You only have to say the words "Intellectual-Rasta" and "African with Small Balls" and the book's practically written itself.
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SignedUpToLOL
from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2018-07-08 10:00 [#02556095]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular
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Available now at the exclusive price of €3,100 (reflecting the number of migrants that drowned last year attempting to cross the Mediterranean), with 2% of profits going to the Pink Helmets who distribute teat-less condoms and butt-plugs in Syria, the ebook "Refugees Welcome (to have sex with me)".
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belb
from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2018-07-08 10:25 [#02556096]
Points: 6384 Status: Lurker
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hahaha, "sex dog" is a great name for a cat. are we the only species to engage in naughty bum play? i started a rumour when i was about 14 that a friend had a fetish for dog's arses. i suppose cats would be even tighter. no idea where that train of thought is going
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mermaidman
on 2018-07-08 10:35 [#02556097]
Points: 8299 Status: Regular
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if all of those e-stories were as fun as these i would lose hours reading them probably but good news they aren't
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SignedUpToLOL
from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2018-07-08 10:39 [#02556099]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular
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"giraffes have been called "especially gay" for often engaging in male-male sexual behavior more than male-female"
Not my words, but the words of renowned, irrefutable source of truth, Wikipedia.
List of mammals displaying homosexual behavior
Think of it, Giraffe Porn.
Oh, it exists
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mermaidman
on 2018-07-08 10:47 [#02556100]
Points: 8299 Status: Regular
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oh, it makes sense that they are "especially gay", i always felt somewhat drawn to giraffes.
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SignedUpToLOL
from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2018-07-08 10:49 [#02556101]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular | Followup to mermaidman: #02556100
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Judging by the wealth of material on the internet, it appears you're not alone.
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RussellDust
on 2018-07-08 13:32 [#02556102]
Points: 16053 Status: Lurker
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Rupert lived with a family of Bonobos...
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2018-07-08 19:02 [#02556117]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker | Followup to RussellDust: #02556102
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haha that sounds like a good book beginning
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wavephace
from off the chain on 2018-07-10 06:25 [#02556321]
Points: 3098 Status: Lurker
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LAZY_TITLE
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SignedUpToLOL
from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2018-07-10 11:31 [#02556324]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular | Followup to wavephace: #02556321
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One doesn't mean to disrespect "other voices" but there's not a great deal of subtlety to those titles. Though, on the other hand, you could say that they're not misleading and that you pretty much know what you're going to get when you pick up a copy of... Hard, Horny Cowpokes.
Buttrustle! is a bit ambiguous. Though I suspect it involves Butts and Cowpokes.
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Indeksical
from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2018-07-10 11:53 [#02556325]
Points: 10671 Status: Regular | Followup to wavephace: #02556321 | Show recordbag
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Buttrustle is a wonderful title.
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RussellDust
on 2018-07-10 12:53 [#02556326]
Points: 16053 Status: Lurker
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<—- RussellButt
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RussellDust
on 2018-07-10 13:04 [#02556327]
Points: 16053 Status: Lurker
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RussellButts
I supposed it’s about russelling in someone’s behind?
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2018-07-10 13:15 [#02556331]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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Buttrustle! a mix between Russell and Tussle
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2018-07-10 13:17 [#02556332]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02556331 | Show recordbag
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poor joke, you can really say im back to work half of the day
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SignedUpToLOL
from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2018-07-10 14:00 [#02556336]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02556331
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Ohhhhh, you're on to something there. Some kind of Ying and Yang deal. Opposites attract.
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2018-07-10 14:15 [#02556337]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker
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'Buttrustle' by Barbara Cartland
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belb
from mmmmmmhhhhzzzz!!! on 2018-07-10 14:28 [#02556338]
Points: 6384 Status: Lurker
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bumchuff and buttrustle, highly regarded thinkers in the field of brown love
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RussellDust
on 2018-07-10 14:32 [#02556339]
Points: 16053 Status: Lurker
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<—- RussellButt of the joke.
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mohamed
from the turtle business on 2018-07-10 16:01 [#02556341]
Points: 31145 Status: Regular | Show recordbag
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brown like a tanned gay
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2018-07-10 16:23 [#02556347]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker
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"russelbutt Rupert & the homosexual bonobo quandry" by Russell T Davis
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Indeksical
from Phobiazero Damage Control (United Kingdom) on 2018-07-10 16:58 [#02556349]
Points: 10671 Status: Regular | Followup to Hyperflake: #02556347 | Show recordbag
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I'll take two copies, one will no doubt get ruined.
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RussellDust
on 2018-07-10 17:04 [#02556351]
Points: 16053 Status: Lurker
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I’ll gladly sign copies for memorabilia. Just send me your book with a paid return stamp or whatever, barcode, and some soiled tidy whities.
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Hyperflake
from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2018-07-10 17:11 [#02556352]
Points: 31006 Status: Lurker
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it comes with a wipeable plastic cover and a box of Kleenex
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Zephyr Twin
from ΔΔΔ on 2018-07-10 21:31 [#02556421]
Points: 16982 Status: Regular | Followup to SignedUpToLOL: #02556089 | Show recordbag
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This is so good I wasn't sure at first whether you were copy/pasting or had written it. You have a gift!
On the topic of discussion: although extremely on the nose, I feel that the collected works of Dr. Chuck Tingle may be of interest. I don't know where to find synopses, but the titles alone are a wild ride. Apologies if Dr. Tingle is old news.
Go forth and be merry
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wavephace
from off the chain on 2018-07-12 03:36 [#02556530]
Points: 3098 Status: Lurker
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gay guys.....whuts up with them yall???? they dress up and look like ur mother!!!! they act feminine and look sexy and sometimes u mistake them 4 ladies :( they wear tite cloths and makeup and sometimes u see them u might LUST
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