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Morning Shot of Business News
 

offline SignedUpToLOL from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-21 17:31 [#02522907]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular



Starting tomorrow AM, each and every morning without fail I
will deliver a Morning Shot of Business News.

Stay tuned for tomorrow morning when I will deliver the
first dispatch of what will be a long-term commitment to
providing hot, steaming shots of the richest, most
fully-roasted-ed Business News.

And yes, you will be taking it black.


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-21 20:04 [#02522919]
Points: 30707 Status: Regular



morning business enema, shot up your hot crack by alan sugar
in drag


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-06-21 21:45 [#02522922]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



all bests to your paper


 

offline RussellDust on 2017-06-21 21:59 [#02522923]
Points: 15891 Status: Lurker



This is fantastic!


 

offline SignedUpToLOL from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-22 09:33 [#02522950]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular



I was going to use the morning commute to source some
Business News, however, and this is absolutely true, on the
busy tube there were a pair of lesbians (one a fair bit
older than the other) touching each other up, practically
under my nose, and I got distracted.

I will make up for this by providing premium Business News
tomorrow.

And no public displays of same-sex foreplay will stop
me.



 

offline RussellDust on 2017-06-22 16:37 [#02522965]
Points: 15891 Status: Lurker



This is just going to be some giant tease, I can feel it.

We want our business snippets!


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-06-22 17:50 [#02522972]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Followup to SignedUpToLOL: #02522950 | Show recordbag



i lolled at that this morning


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-06-22 17:50 [#02522973]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



i would be fine just with morning bits of normal life from
you


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-06-22 17:57 [#02522976]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



but im gonna check the business news as well


 

offline SignedUpToLOL from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-22 18:01 [#02522977]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02522973



You'd be astonished how many times on my daily commute I am
distracted by lesbians or a pair of birds putting on a bit
of show for me.


 

offline RussellDust on 2017-06-22 18:13 [#02522979]
Points: 15891 Status: Lurker



SUTLOLWorld


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-06-22 20:05 [#02522983]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Followup to SignedUpToLOL: #02522977 | Show recordbag



im sure you keep yourself busy


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-06-22 20:08 [#02522984]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



LAZY_TITLE


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-06-22 23:13 [#02522989]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



i was having a reflection upon islam Dan, like if you really
want to found your life on interpretation of words, you
really are destined to a fucked up existence and despair,
what do you think about it


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-06-22 23:17 [#02522990]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



mind you, that might be the most ignorant thing i posted
ever


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-06-22 23:21 [#02522991]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



i just googled something about that, a surely unrelated
result cites the 'postive and not negative interpretation of
words'


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-06-22 23:21 [#02522992]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



sorry for the derailment


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-06-22 23:26 [#02522993]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



well i think that whatever positive or negative, it is
always an interpretation, which is just like sand in the
eyes in my opinion, everybody should just go straight to the
point.


 

offline SignedUpToLOL from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-23 08:21 [#02522998]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02522989



Well, if I am to succumb to "triggering" it is on hearing
the word Islam. I read the news but I can't watch it,
certainly not the BBC here in the UK. A couple of days ago I
walked in the bedroom and the TV had the news on, and it was
about May saying we need to wipe out extremism including
"Islamophobia" and I just groaned and switched the channel.
And my partner shouted from the bathroom (which is next
door) "Oi! I was watching that". And I said to her "Aren't
you fed up of terrorism?" and she came back in saying
"They'll go on to something else". The next bit was ISIS
blowing up the mosque in Mosul. The next bit was some angry
Muslim going on about how the Syrian refugee who died in the
Grenfell tower fire had been failed by the UK. I said "For a
fucking minority, they sure dominate the news". And I
received a very, very frosty reception.

I've not attempted to discuss more about living one's life
according to words, I've just taken this opportunity to have
another pop at Islam. And that's hardly news.

This is emphatically not my "Morning Shot of News", btw.


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-23 08:50 [#02523001]
Points: 30707 Status: Regular



i dont mind the word islam, as it sounds quite like lamb and
that in turn reminds me of a donner kebab


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-23 08:51 [#02523002]
Points: 30707 Status: Regular



Is-lamb on the menu, sorry i'll get me coat...


 

offline SignedUpToLOL from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-23 09:28 [#02523003]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular | Followup to Hyperflake: #02523001



"Do me a favour, Shona, get politically aware, why dontcha?"


 

offline SignedUpToLOL from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-26 09:10 [#02523122]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular



OK - Business News.

Look for toilet paper savings


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-26 09:18 [#02523123]
Points: 30707 Status: Regular | Followup to SignedUpToLOL: #02523122



my mum always used to buy the cheapest, most fragmentary
paper imaginable, you might as well try to wipe your arse on
thin air


 

offline SignedUpToLOL from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-26 11:06 [#02523125]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular | Followup to Hyperflake: #02523123



*wince*

Basgers Arse Industrial Toilet Paper (Viz ad)


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-26 11:10 [#02523126]
Points: 30707 Status: Regular | Followup to SignedUpToLOL: #02523125



yes do you remember the stuff you had in primary school,
like tracing paper, or grease proof baking paper it just
wouldnt absorb fuck all, terrible stuff


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-26 11:11 [#02523127]
Points: 30707 Status: Regular



like this


 

offline SignedUpToLOL from Zuckuss fanfiction (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-26 12:42 [#02523129]
Points: 2853 Status: Regular | Followup to Hyperflake: #02523126



I do indeed remember that "paper". I was thinking fairly
recently that I think I only ever went for a plop about once
or twice in all my time at Secondary School - it just
wouldn't have crossed my mind. I know this because I have a
memory of going to do a number 2 at school and, at that
point thinking, "I've never gone for a sit down job at
school before".

My partner said she never went to the toilet at school, and
to this day she doesn't go anywhere in public. You'd be
tempted to think she never went at all. I know I prefer to
think of it that way.

Anyhoo a fascinating glimpse into a forgotten social
history, I think you'll agree. I wonder what toilet paper
they have in schools today? Proabably don't have it,
culturally insensitive, amirite????!?!?!


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-26 14:27 [#02523130]
Points: 30707 Status: Regular | Followup to SignedUpToLOL: #02523129



I know its OCD but i hate the idea of going to loo where
thousands of bums have touched before my own, if im
desperate i have to stick a ring of toilet roll around the
toilet seat to act as 'barrier' to poo particles, wee and
ball sweat.


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-26 14:28 [#02523131]
Points: 30707 Status: Regular | Followup to SignedUpToLOL: #02523129



is toilet paper halal?


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-06-26 17:23 [#02523138]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



halal meat means 4th category meat killed from the throat


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-06-26 17:33 [#02523145]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



more humble arabs are coming to my sight in the streets
since i let myself go on the subject. here there are
different arabs than i remember from london, i think their
nerve was kind of curbed in the decades, socially speaking


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-26 17:38 [#02523146]
Points: 30707 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02523138



whats 4th category meat?


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-06-26 17:42 [#02523147]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Followup to Hyperflake: #02523146 | Show recordbag



meat full of nerves


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-26 17:55 [#02523148]
Points: 30707 Status: Regular



eww, is there are logical reason for killing something by
cutting its head off without knocking it out first?


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-06-26 17:56 [#02523149]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



aint nothing sounding more ridicolous than one called
mohamed speaking that way, i know that because i know a
slavic guy that talks shit about romas, and it just sound
that dumb


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-06-26 17:57 [#02523150]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Followup to Hyperflake: #02523148 | Show recordbag



i dont know


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-26 18:15 [#02523151]
Points: 30707 Status: Regular | Followup to mohamed: #02523149



what happens in a mosque when someone comes in and says, "i
have a message for Mohammed, i dont know his surname"


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-06-26 18:24 [#02523152]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Followup to Hyperflake: #02523151 | Show recordbag



i dont know, they calling a psychiatrich hospital maybe


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-26 18:45 [#02523153]
Points: 30707 Status: Regular



Mohamed is your surname, i know there are some people called
mohamed mohammed mohaamed or whatnot


 

offline mohamed from the turtle business on 2017-06-26 18:54 [#02523154]
Points: 31139 Status: Lurker | Show recordbag



yes, all the descendants in your surname, in case you need
to make a sign you know


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-26 18:55 [#02523155]
Points: 30707 Status: Regular



ah ok, makes sense now


 

offline RussellDust on 2017-06-26 18:55 [#02523156]
Points: 15891 Status: Lurker



Albert Mohamed. Improbable name that actually works.



 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-26 18:59 [#02523158]
Points: 30707 Status: Regular



yes does actually, my surname is occupational, being
Cartwright, its a very utilitarian, working class name,


 

offline RussellDust on 2017-06-26 19:14 [#02523168]
Points: 15891 Status: Lurker | Followup to Hyperflake: #02523158



My surname is Penisenvy, and I get ridiculed constantly.


 

offline RussellDust on 2017-06-26 19:14 [#02523170]
Points: 15891 Status: Lurker



Luckily not pronounced the English way!!


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-26 19:18 [#02523171]
Points: 30707 Status: Regular



silent p?


 

offline RussellDust on 2017-06-26 19:32 [#02523176]
Points: 15891 Status: Lurker



Like 'penne senyavee'.


 

offline Hyperflake from Wirral (United Kingdom) on 2017-06-26 20:08 [#02523208]
Points: 30707 Status: Regular



ah a classic sardinian surname


 


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