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From getting on your balls when you are shitting in the toilet? I have very loose and explosive shits. So it's not uncommon for the shit to splatter all over my balls and ass. I try to shit in the shower as often as I shower, but I need a real toilet solution. Sometimes I wrap me balls in toilet paper before I let the shit parptastic. |
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Here's a pro tip, record yourself saying "to oil it", then listen back but interpret it as your retarded alter ego saying "toilet". That should kill some time since we have to live so long. |
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cut your balls off |
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fantastic go plastic, I recommend saran wrap |
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put one hand between your balls and your asshole |
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store your knackers up your bumhole so when you do explosive poos the gas pressure should shoot them forward into your cock like a newtons cradle, |
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another solution is this, you could tame and defang a cobra to live in your plumbing system, you would make it learn that 2 taps on the toilet cistern means that its time for a poo, on hearing the taps the gummy snake would swim round your ubend and gently grasp your bollocks in its mouth, it would be natural to the snake as swallowing eggs in a birds nest, it has the added advantage of keeping your testicles nice and warm on a winter morning, |
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Then I'd have the ol' boner in the toilet problem |
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line your toilet bowl with rusty nails |
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