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 (nobody)...and 263 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2613470 Today 8 Topics 127501 |
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chrst, i quit risperdal like 3 weeks ago and already my fucking BRAIN is starting to do its thing. yes we're talking reincarnation, multiple dimensions, illusion of reality etc.. i feel a weird distance to it all atm. as if something inside is telling me that nothing matters, or that everything is a lie, or that i should escape. fuck if i know. on the one hand i want to lie down, and then wake up somewhere else, but on the other that would scare the bejeezus out of me so im not so sure anyway. im so sick of philosophy. quantum entangled superposition mind matter objectivity determinism, animals fuckin atoms, particles, occams razor and ffs dont even mention platos cave. its all a big fuckin WOOHAA atm as im trying to puzzle together why the fuck im here or how the fuck anything exists at all. fuck this shite, well. not really. i like it here. i like the food the women and the music. i just have this strong feeling that something is wrong. some kind of secret im not being told. i dunno wtf it is. its actually extremely frustrating. it feels like a ton of minigames. each game has its own rules, but ultimately theres no fucking rule to any game other than to play it cuz you might as well since youre here. i just see patterns, meanings, explanations everywhere. like a puzzle of the games. im so sick of trying |
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drugs fucked up your life |
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What the horn smoking hipster said. |
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dude go for a 3 hour walk and bring a bottle of water. breathe while you walk. look at what you see. |
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that's really gd advice, actually. :) I like you instantly. Happy new year! |
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why did you stop those meds? and why did you start them? how did you felt in between? |
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When I'm tired or totally not compatible with what I'm doing in terms of interest, thinking feels like having to walk around in a gel atmosphere. Like my head is always filled with a haze of fog. |
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I don't think anyone is bothred Dagibit. |
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have you tried taking olanzapine?, my brother takes that and it calms his brain activity down. your thoughts are moving too rapidly and this is why you're feeling frustrated, don't stop the medication. People with your condition have jobs, wifes, family all that normalty! but you need to take the meds and listen to advice from people close to you.... i'm just a random off the internet, but i have a brother with the same condition as you, so i understand it well. |
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You are a random with a brother Luan? |
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heh.. i guess we're all brothers on xlt |
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mmm. |
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Naw, but the energies are being made aware in the people, so even the ones who weren't able to get it before are starting to feel it. |
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there's no secret to life. you need to get your will to live back. get confident about your whole self, physically and mentally. don't buy into the mysteries of thought. they're like little movie scenes. its when you move away from your actual truths that you feel misguided. srsly. |
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well i feel better now but also a bit shit that i posted this. |
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I was on similar meds too |
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Maybe you are Neo. |
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make some yummy hot cocoa! |
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i'm curious to know more about what jnasato was getting at. here are some inspirational numbers for you |
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someone wants me to post these. i'm not much for mainstream music, or girlie stuff, but it seems i can't get out of doing it (i felt a very oppressive feeling when i wasn't going to) |
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lastly, this one which i will embed. |
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sorry songs and things i hear at work and other places have been having all kinds of meaning to me (above their actual meaning). don't want to be inappropriate or insensitive or anything, but i just feel compelled to do it. maybe i've been going a little crazy in my own way. thing is, when i see someone going through something i myself went through, same ambivalence, confusion, etc. i just feel driven to drop hints. of course it is not just me dropping, i am a bit of a jonah in the situation ( i really don't want to be posting colbie caillat and madonna trust me). |
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"i'm curious to know more about what jnasato was getting at." Just Consciousness in general. Even some people who'd never in their lives be bothered to think about what it means to Be, are starting to become more aware of their surroundings and the fact that they are able to perceive such things. The illusion of separate Consciousness and the projected illusion of physical reality, are becoming less and less veiled, in the sense that the subtle tricks used to force perception and differentiation between time/place/people are breaking down. |
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you are diagnosed with schizofrenia? And did you talk about stopping with your doctor? Please tell me you did, i don't want you to have a psychose. It will fuck you up big time probably. You sound pretty sick. |
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answer = quit worry about stupid shit |
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i feel better now.. tis ok |
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i just hope one day, some ounce of truth is revealed to me im stuck in my own brains association game. any meaning, function, explanation will by default be my own interpretation. |
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i know the truth! well am very very close or at least on the right path. i tried to tell it but the truth seems real crazy at first |
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Everything Is. Get caught up in the meaning, and one loses its essence (the actual thing that is being searched for). The abstract nature of what lies behind what is indicated by sense perception, is a moot point for most activity. It's very difficult for Mario to figure out that he's programmed onto an NES cartridge. For him to come to that conclusion by studying his 8-bit nature/castle/sea surroundings would be rare. Unless Mario intends to change the programming or nature of the cartridge from within the game and his own programming, then it's unneeded stress for him to even begin to explore the true nature of his existence. Between superficial truths and higher truths is where A LOT of people get lost, and I'm really serious about that. People usually quit or go insane by trying to put the abstractions into some sort of tangible logic. There is buying a coffee, and then there is the fact that it's all energy transfer among the non-existent boundaries, and then there is the fact that it's all illusory and has/is-happening infinite times and at that point is a mere memory. So you want a coffee or not? Context is incredibly important, with regard to intention and also doing. So if you go buy a coffee at the local mini mart, you can't be going on about infinite simultaneous "timelines" and the fact that you've birthed the cashier by imagination. No- you give the money and exchange for the coffee. So I'm just saying watch out and chill out, cuz I've seen many people get lost. Think of it this way: the essence of car cannot be found by taking it apart; only by driving it or being in one. |
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In other words, Mario is a caffeine-addicted computer programmer who doesn't maintain his car. |
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Well... Mario is an Italian plumber who is for some reason asked to save a princess. He is also just code. |
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The problem is that nature created us in this philosophical way. If I wasn't meant to think this way, why can I? You talk about context, which is great, the problem is that context is relative and can be applied from any point of view. As long as the point of view is actually conscious like we are. In a way it is completely obvious how reality works, but on the other hand, discovering all those points of views is HARD, cuz you can't do it without experiencing it yourself. And there's also the values of points of views. What if one is more important or better than the other ones? What if being philosophical leads us to seeing something that eventually is a benefit only to us? But then again all of reality is subjective to our minds, so there is no solution, hence only you can answer how you want to live. |
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i wonder what truth it is that toby has seen? will you share, toby? |
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Yes, there is no meaning without perception and intention. Everything just Is. An apple is "apple", but only tastes so with specific taste buds/nose and only looks so with specific eyes. There is no inherent difference between it and the surrounding "air", but with regard to intention, it has a purpose. And that's one of the points I was making... that people who come across higher truths but get fucked, are searching for "meaning" at the higher levels, but there is none. It is all abstract. "Meaning" is only at the most superficial levels (ironically). |
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Not to get all "Barcode" on you, but Nature didn't do anything philosophical to you. You are projecting stuff that isn't really there onto everything in the world. Maybe it's not that you were "meant" to think this way, but that you can by random chance. Chin up, don't try to search for pieces to a puzzle that doesn't exist. :] |
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(Exactly.) |
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or you may want to |
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well, you are at least right that nature didn't do it. i've been listening to this colbie song over and over since i posted it (i felt a tad embarrassed at the time). it feels good to be able to let go of a certain cynicism in the past that would have kept me from liking something like this. of course i felt driven to post it for the meaning. i am sure at least that much is transparent. it feels good to be back, too. i spent too long on my personal diaspora, but i think it refined me overall. i was too immature before, without a strong foundation. i am glad and thankful for what i have been shown, and been given. i wish i could just somehow convince you all of it, but as the song says you know it's never gonna be that simple. |
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