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 Now online (1)dariusgriffin ...and 121 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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i suffer from paranoid schizophrenia Schizophrenia, from the Greek roots schizein (σχίζειν, "to split") and phrēn, phren- (φρήν, φρεν-, "mind"), is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a mental illness characterized by impairments in the perception or expression of reality, most commonly manifesting as auditory hallucinations, paranoid or bizarre delusions or disorganized speech and thinking in the context of significant social or occupational dysfunction. some of you may have been offended or embarrassed by things i've posted here i used to have protracted delusions, exacerbated by my extreme intake of hallucinogens i've since learned to filter out the crap i sometimes come up with, and to think before posting this thread is just for me to express my regret at possibly hurting your xltronic experience and to assure you that in the future the combination of my medication and restraint should prevent it happening again |
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always seemed ok to me, are you kidding here? |
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no i'm really serious i used to be really bad about posting nonsense some times i can't even remember due to drugs glad you weren't adversely affected though |
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i post utter crap as a standard function |
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that's why i love you in the gayest way possible :-) |
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i don't think you're alone in the insane posting in fact i'm definitely sure you're not. glad you've got it all under control though. i've been through the old drug induced psychosis myself and i have to say it's one crazy fucking ride. i don't blame anyone for any insanity as for myself i often find it hard to comprehend reality and am regularly driven into a state of confusion by many peoples lack of understanding. i guess i just sometimes forget that not everyone has done psychedelics, and if i'm truly honest with myself i can easily admit that life hasn't been the same since |
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dont worry im here now...i take lots of stick instead. |
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I think it's the style of music we listen to that does it. I noticed that I have been become extremely day-dreamish because of all the IDM and producing. It's hard for me to really be at the same level as normal people not because I'm SMARTER or anything, it's just my brain is somewheres else. I feel like I'm watching myself live if that makes any sense. It's like a dream but I can feel things. My attention span is very low now. I've read some books on schizophrenia and it seems like people can zonk out of the real world, and it doesn't always have to be in some cinematic turrets way. I'm blaming music and headphones for this. |
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im perfectly stable, shut up! |
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my attention span has recently become absolutely terrible and i know exactly what you mean about the feeling of being detached, just like you're watching your life. sometimes myself i feel like i'm not even having the conversation. often i will ask, 'why did i say that?', 'why am i being angry, i'm not even in a bad mood?'. and it's odd you say this because i was thinking about this very same idea a couple of days ago. like being john malkovich, i was thinking about experiencing life in somebody else's body but not having any decisions but also experiencing the same emotions. it creates an odd paradox. because the decisions are not your own, do you feel the feelings in the same way, or can you just humour them? if free will is in life is narrow, then is not this way already? it's kind of odd but makes my mind switch to bill hicks saying, 'it's just a ride' |
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i don't know if its the music; i had some symptoms before but i did experience my most severe megalomania when i was tripping and in an idm or breakcore mode |
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yeah Raz0rBlade_uk i have some of those same um existential issues or experience with problems in philosophy i too find myself wondering why i've just said something or i will go have a smoke and it's as if i find myself there doing things with no apparent reason and overanalyzing |
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I probably have w M w syndrome, but havn't been officially diagnosed. |
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i want that what's that |
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Maybe your only real illness is . Then again, if you think you have hypochondriasis but don't actually have it, then you actually do.. |
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ehm, if there is one thing you should apologize for it's for not refreshing that nathalie portman avatar of yours. she's far too young in that pic. far far too young. it's probably illegal to even look at it. damn you. |
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"Then again,if you think you have hypochondriasis but don't actually have it, then you actually do.." I lul'd, that's t-shirt worthy :D |
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lolcon portman growl |
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We all know what you have. |
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too damn hot for a young girl |
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no no no it wasn't until later when she got hot. she's still a friggin child in that pic. it's just bad, and you bloody well know it! |
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that reminds me, i must watch lolita |
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i took drugs once and actually made a sensible reply on this forum. don't worry tho, i've beaten it now and i'm back to posting 100% pure shite. |
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yes, i can relate to schizophrenia precisely because of I've both studied and, as it were, experienced it (under more or less controlled settings and contexts) - and although I generally oppose the assumption that "normalcy is good" (or even definable), it sometimes becomes imperative to regulate our inward mind-flow, if only to go even further next time (all the time) and not get stuck in some stupid loop like a fly in a bottle... "Schizophrenia" is a hopelessly inadequate catch-all term, and I hope we would have a much more sophisticated language to being able to talk about our problems, but sometimes general definitions can at least get us started on the right path to recovery/reorientation. |
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i spend most of my time acting strange... and the rest of the time trying to prove i'm not. |
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Yeah it's the music. Not all the drugs of course. |
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it's okay, i don't think you offended anyone i just hope you ment it when you said you like me ^_^ |
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