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 Now online (2)recycle big ...and 200 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614278 Today 25 Topics 127553 |
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Q.What do you call a girl with sausages on her head? Ans.Barbie Q.What do you call a dinosaur in high heels? Ans.Myfeetasoreus |
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...hm i don't get that one... don't you mean a barbieque or something, or is that the joke? "yes morton" ow okay hm.. |
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How many blondes does it take to bake a chocolate cake??? 25 one to bake the cake and 24 to peel the M&M's |
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its a dumb kiwi(New Zealander)/ozy (Australian) colloquialism based joke..we call a Bar-B-Que...a Barbie:)...as in A Shrimp on the Barbie..etc:) |
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lol |
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lol |
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Q: why? A: *shrugs Q: how many birds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: no ammount of birds will be able to accomplish this simple task because BIRDS HAVE NO ARMS OR HANDS! AHH HA HA HA! |
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How do you put four elephants in a mini-minor? Two in the front and two in the back |
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i think he made that up himself... no other person could have thought of that.. brilliant |
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"When God was handing out brains, you thought he was giving away Milkshakes... ...so you asked for a thick one" |
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makes sense, more neurons can fit in a thicker area. |
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Mom and daughter are showering together... "Mummie what's that" she asks pointing at mother's breasts? -"Those are my breasts" mummie replies. "Will I get those too?" -"Yes, but you have to be patient dear" "and whats that?" she asks pointing a little lower. -"Thats my teddy" "will I get that too?" -"yes but you gotta be patient." -next day- daughter and daddy are showering... "Daddy what's that?" pointing at daddies crotch. -"Thats my penis" "Will I get that too when I grow up?" -"If you dont tell your mother, you will get it now" |
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I just flew in to southpark, boy are my crutches tired. why did the chicken cross the road? because he was having se.. because he was having se .. s.. because he was having s... se sex with the chicken. knock knock. (who'se there) an interupting cow (an interupting co-) MOOOOO! |
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QHow do you catch a squirrel? Ans.Act like a NUT!! |
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Q: Why do you catch a squirrel? A: to have sex with it. |
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We take you now to the Oval Office. George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George: Great. Lay it on me. Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. George: That's what I want to know. Condi: That's what I'm telling you. George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China? Condi: Yes. George: I mean the fellow's name. Condi: Hu. George: The guy in China. Condi: Hu. George: The new leader of China. Condi: Hu. George: The Chinaman! Condi: Hu is leading China. George: Now whaddya' asking me for? Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China. George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China? Condi: That's the man's name. George: That's who's name? Condi: Yes. George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East. Condi: That's correct. George: Then who is in China? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir is in China? Condi: No, sir. George: Then who is? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir? Condi: No, sir. George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. Condi: Kofi? George: No, thanks. Condi: You want Kofi? George: No. Condi: You don't want Kofi. George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N. Condi: Yes, sir. George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N. Condi: Kofi? George: Milk! Will you please make the call? Condi: And call who? George: Who is the guy at the U.N? Condi: Hu is the guy in China. George: Will you stay out of China?! Condi: Yes, sir. George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N. Condi: Kofi. George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. (Condi picks up the phone.) Condi: Rice, here. George: Rice? Good idea. And a coupl |
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---part 2--- George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East? |
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There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator! Soft,wonderful and larger than a "real one". She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," she screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy... you explain the kids." |
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Q.Why do you have sex? Ans. To have babies who will want squirrels for pets which you then in turn sneakily molest on those quiet lonely nights when the wife and kids are away at their grand parents. |
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Here's some Summer Camp suggestions: 10. Tommy Lee's---------- Camp Kickachickee 9. Lorena Bobbit's--------- Camp Cutaweewee 8. Tanya Harding's-------- Camp Wackaneenee 7. Kenneth Star's---------- Camp Catchacrookee 6. Louis Farakahn's------- Camp Killawhitey 5. O.J. Simpson's---------- Camp Killawifee 4. Michael Jackson's------ Camp Wannabewhitey 3. President Clinton's------Camp Getahoochie 2. Ellen Degeneras's------ Camp Lickacoochie 1. Monica Lewinsky's----- Camp Suckapeepee |
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excellent joke..but already read it:) |
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"How long have you been driving without a tail light, buddy?" demanded the policeman. The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a low moan. His distress was so great that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit. "Aw, come now," he said, "you don't have to take it so hard. It isn't that serious." "It isn't?" cried the motorist. "What happened to my boat and trailer?" |
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A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?” The man said, “Will you watch us have sex?” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, “There’s nothing wrong with the way you have sex,” and charged them $50. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave. Finally the doctor asked, “Just exactly what are you trying to find out?” “We’re not trying to find out anything. She’s married and we can’t go to her house. I’m married and we can’t go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. Embassy Suites charges $ 147. We do it here for $50, ....and get $43 back from Medicare.” |
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First Horse: I am so hungry I could eat a horse? Second Horse: Mooo |
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Two cows standing in the stable: "You heard that about the mad cow disease? I hope we wont get that" -"Dont worry it doesnt affect us squirrels" |
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ahh ha ha ha, that was laugh out loud funny flea. It was so ludicrously retarded. |
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well you asked for it..you plunged into my deepest darkest most sordid desires :P |
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I was talking about the horse one. but the other one was fuzzy toof |
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