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 Now online (2)recycle belb ...and 374 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2614103 Today 16 Topics 127542 |
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"dont piss into the wind"-thad "dont pee on an electric fence"-thad |
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No man has a good enough memory to be a sucessful liar. |
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It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. |
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At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw fuck you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill. |
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Shoot i used to know so many of those but i forgot all of them. |
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"If you think you are the best at something, your wrong, there are about a million people better than you at it, and get hotter girls." - me. |
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"It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money." |
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"As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way." |
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"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it." |
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heh, good one... |
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"In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you." |
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"Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaught on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, bat man." |
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"If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy." |
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"I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him." |
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"I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it." |
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"I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on." |
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would you say you have a demanding job/pastime, wayout? |
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Snootchie Bootchies Little Nootchies |
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"Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy!" |
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"I have never, ever looked at an egg - and thought it was a fucking brain" |
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this statement is false. |
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A Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware of the dark side. Anger...fear...agression. The dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Obi-Wan's apprentice. |
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hahahaaaaa!! sharp boogers! i know the feeling! |
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job? actually i do have job...but its a workstudy job...that i only go to 2 days a week...and today i got out 2 1/2 hours early so i would say no... and as for pastimes... studying the writings of jack handy can be demanding at times...but it all pays off when someone starts a thread like this... |
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"We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town." |
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"Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see." |
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I can never read too many Jack Handey or MST3K quotes. -P |
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a friend with weed is a friend indeed |
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