 |
|
You are not logged in! F.A.Q Log in Register |
 |
|
 |
 Now online (1)yoyoyoyoyo ...and 262 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
 |
Members 8025Messages 2614282 Today 3 Topics 127553 |
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
http://www.citizensagainstcitizens.org/ These people are wicked and funny... I'm still reading it. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Bulgar Wheat Risoto Ingredients 1 cup of wheat 2 teaspoons of Riso 3 snorts of To 1 Burglar forced at gun point to drop the "r" and shift the "l"two spaces.. PREPERATION After donning the radiation suit provided with the package,go into the bathroom and run the shower at boiling hot..then go into the living room and place the greatest Xmass hits of Chipmunks(also provided with the package) at volume level 1.5..now you are required to go out the frontdoor..yell obscenities at the pigeons and squirells,record these with the microphone also provided with the package... METHOD Force the ex.burglar (now bulgar) to make a taped public statement of his status changing from a criminal to an exotic food staple ...fire up the mixer and remix the taped message with your own yelling of obscenities at helpless animals.. make three copies on audio tape and consume via the ear canal....serve with mushroom spore juice and Klingon breath mints.. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
aaahhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha!! I repeat my previous copy and paste, I don't think I'd last five minutes inside your head. The thing that really bothers me is the term "special education". When I first heard it I was excited and wanted to sign up to be in what I thought would be a fun and exciting class. I cried when I heard I was not excepted as a member of the elite "special class". But you know who did get into the "special" class? Retards. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Yeah hehe! they are pretty funny .. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Sometimes I get to thinking. Am I really as sexy as I think I am? The answer is yes because I find myself quite unattractive |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Perverts have privilages beyond the scope of our sensory realms, they get religous privilages mysterious: sexbeasts created in physognomic vats..cooked in psychosomatic forges and polished with bile secretions of the biomorphically sequestered rubadub pygmies ported over from a parallel dimension where every third garbage disposal unit is a wormhole to the place that never is, where all that is, is designed, created, produced and or acquired by any other means as is the case with these secreted doors to wormholes via garbage disposal on the planet of rubadub pygmies..there is a burgeoning underground movement on the world of the rubadubs that is trying to get a public consent into an enquiry which might endup revealing that the rulers of the Rubadub pygmies world have full knowledge of all these rogue garbage disposal wormholes and are willingly allowing the rubadub pygmies to trapped and enslaved for their bile juice with much coveted polishing qualities.. Please shole your support by buying the Rubadub pygmy dolls..all the proceeds go towards the funding of the underground movement in process of exposing the conspiracy of the rulers of the world of rubadub pygmies of selling unsuspecting rubadub pygmies into endless forced bile juice secreting slavery |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
... yarble yerg... yarble yerg |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
Say the name of yerg in vain and the banf shall smite thee with furious anger unseen since the one provoked by one named L Jackson |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
i don't GET it :| |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
IT? |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
the humourr. i don't see whats to cleverrly funny. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
They put a lot of effort into the beautiful art that is posting messages. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
first off, jajuka: how do you know? something's amiss in the land of make-believe king friday. children know him as a hand puppet that rules over the land of make-believe. but, if you ever watch mr. roger's with a critical eye, you may have noticed that he is evil personified. not really personified, i suppose... being a puppet and all... but he's evil. it all started a several years ago, in the land of make-believe. the real people in the land of make-believe ruled over the hand puppets with an iron fist. hand puppets were poorly treated, often used as rags to dust off the streets. class was decided entirely by height, forcing the most of the hand puppets into janitorial work. one day, a young teen named friday was cleaning a royal toilet in the castle, when the king of the land of make-believe sat down, and did his business right on friday's head. needless to say, friday was a little peeved. he took his scrubber, and jammed it right up the king's arse. being a small scrubber, the king didnt notice. he continued to push, and push, and push. eventually, the pressure built up so much that the king exploded in a mess of blood and fecal matter. friday organized a group of hand puppets to slay every real person that wouldnt submit to the rule of the self declared "king friday". six months later, friday had the support of all the hand puppets in the land of make-believe, and had enslaved most of the real people. many puppets were lost in this struggle for power, and king friday soon found himself depressed and suicidal. to keep his mind off of the lives lost, king friday made ridiculous policies and forced them on the inhabitants of his kingdom. fearing for her king's sanity, henrietta decided to go to the tiny fort that friday called a castle to council him. henrietta was shocked by what she saw at the castle: king friday was setting his children on fire. when king friday saw that henrietta has witnessed the murders, he ordered for her arrest, as well as the arrest of her children. from her jail c |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
from her jail cell henrietta watched king friday pull the stuffing out of each of her children, climb inside of their empty skin, and mimic their voices. henrietta was so traumatized that from that point forward, henrietta was unable to speak a sentence without reverting to cat-speak every few words. no longer fearing her testimony against him (she was the only one in the land of make-believe that could speak cat), friday released henrietta. is king friday really the kind of role model that you want to give your children? sure, hes devilishly handsome, but your children are ugly, and always will be. theres no point in trying to be something you'll never be. next time your ugly, stupid children want to watch mr. rogers neighborhood, just say no. theres plenty of other semi-educational television shows that your worthless children can watch. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each. II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second --- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of t |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them --- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second crates enormous air resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. V. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| |||||||||
|
|
I nominate king friday as a replacement for the now very dead santa and an Elvis template clonned out his peanut butter fried banana sandwich as the hand in the glove..ofcoarse the Elvis Template will have all the intelligence of a peanut butter fried banana sandwich on the account of his brain and body being composed of peanut butter fried banana sandwich DNA...hence all the congitive responsibities will fall on the flaxen shoulders of king friday because as we all know..Cotton Stuffings and Yarn outsmart peanut butter fried banana sandwiches..anytime anyday.... |
||||||||
|
|
|||||||||
|
Messageboard index
|
|||||||||
