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 Now online (1)ijonspeches ...and 291 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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give yourself time, someday you might be ready to seek help cuz only you know if you need it or not. i didn't get help til i was 25, i knew i needed it but it took that long to face up to it, but once you talk about the things you don't want to talk about it feels so much better, the proverbial weight is lifted |
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i like me dad... |
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"but it's kind of like an ostrich that sticks it's head in the ground and thinks it can't be seen anymore :-/ It's a sollution that seems to work, but doesn't really solve anything." but there's nothing to be solved, all that matters is that you feel complete, not how the world is looking at you. I don't feel the need to adjust my sence of completeness to the views of society(a lot of "normal" people see psychiatric help themselves) |
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lets not trry and make surrounded into someone with a mental prroblem, it seems morre to me like perrsonallity. i would rrather sit in silence with someone like surrounded than spend a lifetime listening to some of the jackasses out therre spout off. |
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I see you found someone to fix your picture... sorry I couldn't... |
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same here! but most everyone i've met is scared of silence for some reason. |
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it's okay really... thanks :-) I don't really feel very "weird" or that there is something wrong with me. I just know that i am sometimes unhappy about my life (but on other days i like it), and i recognise that proffesional help might be a solution... but i don't know. Maybe it's all a matter of luck, and meeting the right persons... or maybe one day i will feel particularly courageous and then do something that makes a difference. Like i've said, i haven't given up hope... things'll work out, one way or the other. I agree this is a warm and cozy thread :-) Altough i didn't intend it to be so specifically about shyness and solitude... i do like it! This is my favorite thread in a while :-) |
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ophecks did it. but nothing serious happened! don't worry :) thanks for trying :) |
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now that is true! Sometimes i feel like saying: "i bet you think this is an uncomfortable silence?" when i am quiet around someone ;-) It seems to make a lot of people nervous. But i like silence... i think alot of people talk too much. It's good to just sit and think for a while. And yeah, i think being with someone in silence can be alot better that talking to alot of people that are out there :-) But then when i think the other person will find the silence uncomfortable, i also start to find it uncomfortable myself. :-/ |
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it is uncomforrtable to starrt with when you don't know someone, and thats just norrmal. |
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"But then when i think the other person will find the silence uncomfortable, i also start to find it uncomfortable myself." exactly. |
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"i didn't get help til i was 25, i knew i needed it but it took that long to face up to it," Well... yeah, sometimes i feel like that's exactly my situation at this moment! (but i'm only 24 ;-) I've still got a year to gather enough courage, lol). "but once you talk about the things you don't want to talk about it feels so much better, the proverbial weight is lifted" Hm... i can see how that could work. (i'll have to look up in a dictionary tonight what "proverbial" means ;-) but still i can understand what you're saying... Well... we'll see. Thanks a bunch for all your kind words anyway :-D I have to leave the computer now, but i'm sure we'll talk again. |
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proverbial, it means like a cliche or something, like the cliche statement the weight was lifted from my shoulders. later |
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"Me=Extreme Loner" Shit man I used to be a loner to but I fell in love, got my heart ripped out and handed to me on a plate and so now it's too late to turn back to lonerism cos I can't... |
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"There are alot of shy people on this board..." I'm not Shy I'm a fucking GOD. Hahaha NO. I'm probably just as bad as you guys if not more fucked up. |
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how come you can't go back to hermitizing? |
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once i met up with a girl in town, and as we were walking throught town there was a bit of a silence and she laughingly said "you're kind of scary. I think it's because you dont say much, and spend a lot of time thinking, as if you're planning something." I just said that i think a lot and lots of people dont think about consequences of their actions and stuff. After that we went and sat at a bench and talked for about 3 hours, even though it felt like it had only lasted for 15 minutes! To all 'loners' here, do you have one person who you talk to LOADS. Cos i used to be a complete loner, maybe a bit sad and down, then i kept talking to my friend up in birmingham on the net and by phone and she cheered me up so much. Now its usually me cheering her up, because she's finding changes difficult. I wouldn't call myself a loner anymore, a bit of a floater (hah) because i dont stick to groups of people, i move from group to group, trying not to conform to once group's way of behaving. I'm hardly ever SAD sad, sometimes emotional, but i wouldn't call it sadness. |
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Because after leaving it (for me at any rate) I got the "hunger", the "stress" and the "loneliness". "Hunger" - We ain't talking sex here. We're talking everything and anything. I feel this insane need for something and I don't know what it is. Many things can put this @ bay but the hunger is never totally gone. Take now for instance. Attractive girlfriend, fun people around me etc. and yet the hunger is still there. As for stress that's just your avergae, run of the mill stress due to stuff like work etc.. but in my case it's amplified by 1000! Seriously I stress too much (I'm going to counselling about it!!). And stress leads to depression which leads to loneliness... I wouldn't want to go back to being a loner as I missed out on a lot a great stuff but at times I wish I could achieve that inner calm that was once mine... |
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is the "hunger" got anything to do with a feeling of underachievement? I worry a little about my future, about how i may completely fail, because i dont believe or like the system. |
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Sorry, I completely disagree. The most important things in life are carrots. Yes, they are. |
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"underachievement". I don't think so. At least not that I'm aware but you never know what the old sub-conscious (sp?) is up to. Hmm me it's more of a I don't feel at home anywhere vibe. |
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i'm just strrange. i do things to scarre people off me if i don't like them and i do things to see peoples rreactions. forr example some days i stop talking at all to anyone, i just neverr speak and see what happens. sometimes i just burrst into this strream of talking and i talk forr ages about nothing and everrything without thinking. i'm not a loony, i do it just to see... |
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you'll have to start reading Sigmund Freud, see what he says about your subconcious |
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heh, i do weird things sometimes. I always talk about weird things, and i always pick up on things i see. Journeys are great fun, i get to see so much, and i try to make sure everyone else sees it too! Driving through London at night i amazing.... so cool - a great way to finish a night after a gig. |
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He'll probably just tell me that it's something to do with my mother or something, I doubt it... |
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i'd shit myself if a dead and rotting purrvert starrted talking to me, i'd crry. |
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yeah.. i can relate to a lot of you... i've always been a loner.. lived in self imposed isolation for a while.. but then it got old and i didnt know how to get out of it.. things are a little better now.. i have a few close friends who i can relate to ...but still keep quiet around most other people i've always had that problem of girl-less-ness also.. but it didnt bother me as much.. i sort of accepted the fact that the girl i was looking for existed only in my head... but then i found her in real life..that whole situation's sort of done my head in now its just a matter of building up enough courage to do something about it.. but i think once that happens things will be peachy hah anus.. you sound just like my friend..does all sorts of crazy things to see people's reactions.. but he's just as socially inept as i am.. so he uses the crazy things to hide himself from people..by distracting them in a way |
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surrounded- heh i know pretty much exactly how you feel. the thing about 'being a loner' is that it isn't accepted by society. you're considered weird if you're able to entertain yourself these days without the need for an active social life. music is the one important thing for me too, but i'm starting to get fed up. not with music but with my whole situation. i'm happy that i'm moving to a student appartment in january. it will be good to have a go at having doing other things beside music again. |
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"things are a little better now.. i have a few close friends who i can relate to" i dont think that being by yourself is a bad thing. being in a clique is the worst!! i think may have found the 'perfect' girl, but she's too far away - long distances are just stupid! |
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yeah, being a loner is definately not accepted by society. It's even less accepted if your a girl, i bet. Girls are expected to go out and find a man to 'protect' them. stupid patriarchal beliefs |
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great thread, yeah i too am mostly alone for the most part, i mean i have friends at school and we usually do stuff on the weekends and what have you but theres no person thats like my best friend and we always do things, i used to have that but at my new school its just different. anyways,i like being by myself too, people always ask me why I dont talk and I dont really know what to say to that question, i mean what am I supposed to say, "because im different than you"? i have no problems with being alone, some people could never be by themselves and that would suck, I can be by myself and in a group and I think thats a good thing and definately not bad, even if you mostly are by yourself because thats what i usually do. |
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music is my religious expereince. it doesn't get in the way of other aspects of my life though... it informs all that i do and am. ejoying an exuisite dessert is music. courting girls is music:) |
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yeah, I have this friend in Washington (she lives here really, but goes to school in washington) who I talk with about everything and anything... I've known her since I was in grade 6, and we've become pretty close the last few years... I find I'm fairly attracted to her as well, because she's just so nice and fun and great, but also really attractive... however, she is only interested in friendship... which is fine, because I love her as a friend... but still, a small part of me wishes it could be something else... |
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we all need other people in our lives I think... But being a loner is ok too I think... I see a lot of people who rely on others for their happiness and stuff, and that's retarded... In a lot of ways I'd rather be by myself, and I think in some ways that's great... I don't rely on others, I'm self-sufficient... but I still need some connection with other people... be it my parents, sister, friends, etc... |
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life is music music is life or something like that |
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That's great! I think such a huge change of environment will definitly make things very different for you. (in a good way!). You're bound to meet atleast some people you can relate to. And at the same time you'll still be able to listen to lots of music :-p It's a good thing you're not fed up with music yet, hehe. That would be a sad day indeed... |
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Yes that's true! In alot of ways it makes you stronger if you can be by yourself. Alot of people seem to be really desperate to find things to do in the weekends. And if they haven't been able to make plans by friday they almost start to panic... "oh my god? What am i going to do this weekend?!?"... i never have that problem ;-) It's just a good feeling to me that i don't have to depend on other people to entertain me. And i understand what you're saying about that girl :-/ In the last couple of years i've met a few girls (well, mostly over the internet :-p Being the nerd that i am, but i've also met some of them in real life) who thought i was a wonderful person, and yet they would prefer to have me as a friend. And ofcourse that's great, and you can never have too many friends etc... but still... sigh... oh well. Someday you will find your funkmistress! :-p I'm sure of it! |
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aaah, okay! :-) That makes sense, we have a similar expression in dutch. And eh... yeah, since even writing in this thread has made me feel a little bit better, i can see how actually talking to someone about it would be a relief... |
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I think loners also have huge ties with their immediate family. In these day when the modern family is breaking up that's a really good thing. |
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hm... not really in my case. Both my brother and my sister are like the complete opposite of me! Outgoing, social, lots of friends... i can hardly relate to them at all. (but i also think they're living incredibly shallow lives :-/ I'm not jealous of them, that's weird actually... because they're probably enjoying their lives more than me). my mom's great though :-) |
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