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Non-AFX distraction - Big Prizes!!
 

Chimp Systems from Appy Arrd Korr on 2001-07-10 12:34 [#00013753]



I am offering a huge cash bonanza jackpot payout rollover
prize of £12.30 to the person who can invent the best
punchline for this joke . . . We could witness the
live-as-it-happens-birth-of-a-new-gag right here . . .

A man goes into a shop with a woman's head under one arm and
a car tyre under the other. The puzzled shopkeeper stares
open-mouthed at the man, then shuffles about under the
counter and pulls out an item. "I expect you want one of
these?" he says . . .

Go! £12.30! You know you want it!


 

Chimp Systems from Appy Arrd Korr on 2001-07-10 14:18 [#00013782]



Okay, so nobody wants to play my punchline game. Well thats
fine *sniff*. I'm going to spend the prize money on some
cyanide pills. And a gun. And some rope. *sniff*.


 

Wizards Teeth on 2001-07-10 15:06 [#00013801]



"One of what ?" Said the man with a ladies head under one
arm and a tyre under the other.

"Oh sorry" Said the shopkeeper, "The only Pheasant necks I
have left are invisible."


 

Chimp Systems from Appy Arrd Korr on 2001-07-10 15:09 [#00013803]



Thats a beauty . . . abstract, meaningless, lush. You are
the top contender for the BIG CASH JACKPOT. Also you are the
only contender. And you have saved me from suicide you nice
man you.


 

Chrispy from the UK Plains of Noise on 2001-07-10 15:29 [#00013810]



he says... "This is all I have to give you" the shopkeeper
says, revealing a shovel, a black bin liner and a pair of
trainers. "What would I need bin liner for?" the man asks,
"To put the headless body in it?" the shop keeper says. "Is
the shovel to bury my wife?" he asks. "That is correct". The
man then asks "What are the trainers for then shopkeeper?"
to which the shopkeeper replies "To run away from the police
I'm about to call. You aint getting anywhere with a flat
tire...


 

chicken paste man!! on 2001-07-10 15:43 [#00013818]



....and before the shopkeeper could show the man what he was
talking about, the ladies head said "fuck off" and the man
walked quickly out of the shop leaving behind only the tyre.


 

Chrispy from the UK Plains of Noise on 2001-07-10 15:45 [#00013819]



That is so much fucking better than mine!!!! man!

< sigh > < wipes tear from eye >


 

Chimp Systems from Appy Arrd Korr on 2001-07-10 16:47 [#00013831]



Well, I have to say, Mr Paste is just ahead in the running
at the minute. I shall be testing all punchlines tonight
during my world-famous stand-up routine at Tickluz in Soho,
and whichever gets the biggest grins gets the money. And a
piece of my best china.


 


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