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so i have this condition -- which i don't mind, really -- where i look at a tree and see it sort of a more than usual way, but i also am very sensitive to lights vs. night vision. not, like, trailers or anything, i just get halogen headlights burned into my field of vision quite easily. freaking headlights now; very pedestrian-hostile. they're starting to introduce adaptive dimming that's basically like, "hey isn't this great, halogen high-beams all day except when they detect another car... then they dim. never mind someone trying to walk along the road in the dark, and their night vision. even sans condition, your night vision can be decimated instantly; takes ten minutes for your pupils to open back up after being blasted so i use a hoodie. but it's raining, and i use an umbrella. and this adaptive dimming thing; it's suddenly relevant. because i'm blocking the halogen hi-beams with my umbrella, and... the car's headlights dim. then they brighten. then they dim. then they brighten i realize: shit, it's my umbrella; it's reflecting and faking it out my umbrella is matte black. the slick of the rain was enough to make the car's computer shit annoy the fuck out of the luxury automobile's owner, so i figure i need, like... a silver umbrella; maybe i can get one with rhinestones and sequins. fight the power |
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the shape of the umbrella -- we know this parabola does make it ideal for bouncing the light about. but what about when it doesn't rain? i think i need, like... an armband? or, from DnD, a bracer? with a little parabola coated in that paint they use on road signs. that way i can collect the halogen and beam it back via satellite |
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that's cool actually |
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i've already this design in my hed where it's like some iron man thing and when you clench a fist it pulls a mesh and reveals the shiny concave parabola you can use to collect halogen light and send it back in a directed beam... proportionally, so you can flex more or less to dial up and down how flagrantly reflective it is. do you guys think i have a patent, here? the street sign paint; i'm not much on materials science. but it lights up like a painfully bright LED when hedlites hit it; something to do with the material just sending the light back. i figure i can get some sticky tape with such a finish to try this all out. |
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but, yeah, fucking car safety systems, these days. "we'll save lives," but yeah, fuck off, everyone has to pay $2k for this shit, it annoys the piss out of people driving the cars, and meanwhile you saved about 200 wankers who didn't pull over before collecting loose change from the floor mat i am eager to get a car again. the day is near where i will be able to scream by a flock of tesla's and make them scatter like birds because they're all on autopilot and i wiggled my car just right as i went by |
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also dreaming up a jacket to confuse self-driving cars. |
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become ungovernable |
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hehe i like that, lots of folks wearing orange safety vests with reflective stripes nowadays on the streets. mostly joggers and people riding a bike. always hated the idea of being seen at night, but its definitley a life saver. car builders can kiss my ass. first they build cars that are way taller than 90% of the cars on the road, whilst not thinking about placing or pointing the headlights in a way they dont blind everyone else in traffic. now i have to buy a reflective darkening foil (fuck foil we used to call it) so we dont crash when a suv is behind us. when they come towards us we´re still blind. |
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im just about to order stuff to arm our bikes. my wife gets cut and overtaken in narrow streets way too often, all the while getting yelled at, despite its her right of way. so we´re looking to buy a mountable traffic trowel. they stick out and hit the cars closing in too much. im thinking about a 120db horn too. what id really love was an upgrade to properly scratch their varnish if they come too close. |
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didn’t your assasin’s creed costume give you +1 night vision? ... or something? |
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meaning it’s also halogen light proof |
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