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 (nobody)...and 123 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2618562 Today 1 Topics 127845 |
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now, in addition to having had not one, but two (2) Crow Problems, i now have the dubious honor of being bestowed a Turkey Problem as well. i go on lots of walks. bit over a mile. four, five times a day. one day, i get back from a walk, and there's a giant wild turkey right by the back door i am aiming to ingress. dfgdhfgjdfg turkey i say, sassing it. then i see: there's a little baby turkey. it's kind of an ugly duckling -- turkeys are not the most handsome birds -- but, alright, that's kind of cute. i actually am all "oh sorry turkey" and they scuttle off. i smile and go inside but then, after that, they're just constantly there. i go out for a walk, they're on my doorstep. i come back, they're back. the last straw was, well, i was amped up and kind of hustling out the door, yeahhh, let's go for a wok -- i'd spent some time on my exercise machine thing and i was already warmed up and eager -- and i close the door, lock it in smooth rhythm, music going, and... almost step on a baby turkey, hanging out on my steps again. since then, i've gotten less polite. i started gently, flapping around. they go hide behind the shed for three minutes, then come back. i have to go flap around the side of the shed, no, that's not good to hide there either, ok? at this point i am keeping an umbrella by the door so i can go sean connery on them at a moment's notice. like, ten feet from my door, ten feet. that's all i ask. i almost stepped on your baby you idiot bird; why do you have to make this so hard we're someone between 2-3 dozen Turkey Incidents at this point. i think i need to order a vintage 90's Super Soaker (tm) off the tubes |
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the way they talk always makes me chuckle. consider yourself lucky :) |
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epic just leave the goddamn turkeys alone ok?? i don't want to come here one day to find that you started to kick them around and shit |
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just act like they're not there try to think about something else when you see the turkeys |
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he he, look a turky giving advice about turkeys |
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actually would up being kind of anti-climactic. after i posted this thread, they promptly never showed up again. perhaps they read xltronic |
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thank god good for the turkeys |
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they definitely read xltronic |
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was out walking early AM, and i turn around to see a, er, gaggle of turkey crossing the street behind where i'd just walked. i do believe i audibly snerked as a visceral response. i suppose, yes -- i really appreciate nature; wildlife -- as long as it's at least ten feet from my doorstep. related: today, i had to stop walking, because there was a little fuzzy brown mouse scuttling from the street towards the house owned by idiot old people. the mouse had no fucking hesitation. indeed, i would never just step on the little bugger; it knows it has me. so i stop walking and it scuttles across the sidewalk. i glance up at a lady in a BMW stopped at the light where this is all occurring and she is making a phace i wish i could have smartfone fotographed; but, no. you can't capture everything |
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i must confess to withholding my previous turkey research until nau |
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