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 Now online (2)big dariusgriffin ...and 202 guests Last 5 registered Oplandisks nothingstar N_loop yipe foxtrotromeo Browse members... |
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Members 8025Messages 2613483 Today 9 Topics 127503 |
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okay god, i'm sorry i don't talk to you very often, but i'm unsure what your plan is for me. i used to think it was atheism but that leaves and unpleasant aftertaste in my mouth. then i thought it was optimism but that's far too sweet for me... you've taken my grandfather from me, thanks to that i wrote 3 songs that i still listen to at least once a week, and now it appears that you'll be taking my grandmother in a short time... and yet i can't find the creativity in me to truly articulate the feeling of hurt and anguish into a workable audio format... nonetheless i will pray, and hope, and maybe see your plan a bit better tommorow, amen |
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hang on. |
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am hanging- |
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well, look at that I can't think of anything to say. |
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pretty odd, i appreciate the support, you're like a very good bra ... my grief has apparently ruined my ability to make analogies, as well... well i suppose i'll try again w/ the keyboard and the synthesizer |
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thanks... well in my experience, I can only do something with an experience (be it through making music or writing) much later, when its all over. in other words, when theres some distance between me and the subject. |
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You're not a user I often take seriously, because of your caustic sharp wit and whatnot, so it's unsettling to see YOU of all people showing your emotional side, in your own Diemaxian way. But that must suck like nothing has ever sucked. I can't even imagine what it must be like, I'd lose my mind personally, nobody close to me has ever died. Music is all I have, I'd find solace in that. So do that... life is a bitch. |
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hehe i appreciate the support ophecks you're like a... nevermind- anyways, in response to qrter i PERSONALLY usually articulate my emotions AS i'm faced with them, (and no, i don't think i'll have better luck right after the funeral) so to me this innability to turn emotion into sound is quite a shock... it's like not being able to breath- but not suffocating... i'm sure it will get better- or at least that i'll be able to feel better about it... yeah, and i think i'm just gonna do some cheesy cut + paste drill 'n' bass tonight i don't think i'm up for anything complicated |
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don't be worried. what I described is quite normal, psychologically seen. the way you've worked up till now is quite exceptional.. that image of a brah is quite vivid. can't shake it. |
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yep, holding up the flappy protruding metaphorical bussoms of my id and ego wow... freaud would probably shoot me for that one... and i don't really worry... i just wonder, i'm not even really sad... just unsure of course i could be rationalizing or justifying all this to myself... but i'm too lazy and life's too short goodnight everybody! |
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Don't go Diemax! We didn't even embrace in a totally platonic and heterosexual way! I just want to comfort you. |
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well ophecks, I'm up for it.. |
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ophecks... as much as i'd love to make some assinine quote about your assumed sexuality/gender/location/"size" i really don't have it in me, so i'll give you the choice between either coming up w/ a caustic come back of your own, or reminding me when i'm not so down- either way i am turning off the internet and working on all those goddamned remixes NOW |
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diemax..... im really sorry to hear this, it must be horrible .....i hope ur ok ...sorry, i really dont know what to say |
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diemax, i don't know what to say man....... i am sorry stuff like this happens.... |
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that's life- and see over there? that's the end of life. it seems so simple and yet it's the most difficult thing in the world for a human to understand... i appreciate the kind words |
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are you getting some work done now? |
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you will find the answers at www.leisuretown.com ...trust me, they're in there |
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Diemax, I will never leave you, I will never forsake you. Though you walk through the valley of shadow and death, I will make you lie down in green pastures. I'm not asking for optimism, just faith... -God Not exactly the kind of thing I usually post on here, but with you started it, and I didn't exactly feel like I could ignore it. I think everyone at some point feels unclear about the plan for their life, but you've already said you're not giving up, that you're praying and hoping that it will become more clear and... that's the best thing you can do. Sorry if I've gone over the line and offended anyone, as I said before, I try not to do this. |
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condoleances... i would like to say something kind to you, but i fear i'm too numb and selfish to find something to say... i don't really believe in optimism, nor in pessimism. as for god or atheism, i think it's more complicated than just god or no god — i won't go on with this, but i try to rely more on myself and my own imagination than on humans, and i try to rely more on humans than on god... i have the feeling that things just happen, without any sense of justice or injustice... i don't think it's the right way — it's just the way i feel it — i don't think there is any "right" way (but that's not a reason to be sad)... shit, all i found to say was about myself again... sorry... :( |
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in order of posts: qrtr yes, i finished a remix of chemical existence (as per usual if anyone wants to give it a listen i'll be on aim) and no, i'm not feeling any emotional rythms- but i AM feeling better about it pomme de terre, I'll check out the site as soon as i finish w/ this post jabizzy, don't worry you didn't cross over any lines + read the next one uzim, everyone has theorys about god and religion- mine are similar but not identical to yours, though i don't neccesarily believe in a god, i pray to him, because the name is easier to remember and more people will understand what your talking about- but what i'm not really praying TO heaven, i'm praying FOR heaven- anyways- it's difficult to comfort someone with WORDS without mentioning your own religious/spiritual beliefs, in the real world hugging usually works much better, but this is an internet message board, so i understand anyone else who posted i suppose i'll reply to in due time, meanwhile i'm off to check out pomme's link (thank you everyone) |
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i don't get it... so i sent an email to the guy who runs the site (or whatever) maybe (s)he'll have the answers... or maybe (s)he'll use my email for some witty joke... either way, i'm really not sure what direction you were trying to stear me in, but i'm either to dumb/blind to see it, or you gave me incorrect directions... |
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you have to read through everything. btw: "he" |
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EVERYTHING!?!?!?!?! dammit... i'm not sure how far i'm capable of going but i'll give it the old college try... oh wait... i didn't even go to college... well i'll try anyways oh and : btw: btw: "you"? |
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you don't have to read through everything i suppose. but, something happened to me when i discovered this site. you seem to be in a receptive position and i wanted to share it with you. ive been where you are. more than once.. so has tristan farnon apparently. maybe that's all it takes to be pryed out of that "thing". a response to a call.. maybe im not making any sense, maybe you'll think leisuretown is a bunch of masturbation jokes.. maybe this will all be in vain... ..just my way of trying to assist btw: btw: btw: "i wish" |
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oh i see... well i suppose anything is worth a try, but what works for some doesn't work for others example: the very sunlight we love so much that gives us vitamin d is absolute poison to any exposed amino acids (the stuff that makes up yer dna) well... that's about all i can say btw btw btw btw btw afk |
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